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[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.

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Polter-Cow - Oct 30, 2009 10:48:10 am PDT #28696 of 30000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

So the girl I met in Dallas last week is not interested, which doesn't surprise me. It didn't seem like she was actually into me in any way. Just like every other girl my parents have found.

My mom asked if I wanted to go to India this December. "Yeah, right," I said. She pointed out wives my cousins had gotten from India and said they were nice, weren't they? "Yeah, they're nice, but I wouldn't want to marry them." She was just making the point that there are nice girls in India too. That seemed to be the only recourse since they were having no luck finding me a girl in America.

"And anything I ask you to do, you won't do it," she said. "You won't pray to God, since you're God."

"Fu—" Seriously, I was this close to saying, "FUCK YOU." Instead I said, "I will do actual things. Not a bunch of praying I don't believe in. That doesn't help anybody, God!"

Silence, silence, and then I said I had to get back to work and hung up.

You heard it here, folks: if only I believed in God, I would be married by now.

smonster - Oct 30, 2009 10:48:14 am PDT #28697 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

smonster, for one, embraces the arrival of our robotic overlords and cannot wait to smish them and eat their widdle tootsie, nom nom!

As long as they're not Colonel Tigh's.

Gudanov - Oct 30, 2009 10:52:14 am PDT #28698 of 30000
Coding and Sleeping

if only I believed in God, I would be married by now.

Polter's Wager

ChiKat - Oct 30, 2009 10:55:03 am PDT #28699 of 30000
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?

if only I believed in God, I would be married by now.

1. I am approx. twice your age.

2. I believe in God.

3. I am single.

Hmmmmm.....use me as a rebuttal argument if you like.

Polter-Cow - Oct 30, 2009 10:56:08 am PDT #28700 of 30000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

And I don't even consider myself an atheist, only agnostic, but it's all the same to them. Because clearly I believe I am God and above everyone else. Sometimes my parents are extra crazy.

ChiKat, you'd be married if only you'd fast for eleven Tuesdays straight and repeat this one mantra eleven times a day.

Gudanov - Oct 30, 2009 10:56:13 am PDT #28701 of 30000
Coding and Sleeping

I'm a non-believer and I've been married, like forever.

Calli - Oct 30, 2009 10:58:09 am PDT #28702 of 30000
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

I believe in several gods, and yet I do not have several spouses. Or one.

DavidS - Oct 30, 2009 11:01:19 am PDT #28703 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

I'm a non-believer and I've been married, like forever.

Yeah, but your wife prays. You're probably the answer to her prayers.

Laura - Oct 30, 2009 11:05:05 am PDT #28704 of 30000
Our wings are not tired.

I'm agnostic, but have had several spouses. I would fast for 11 Tuesdays if would help your cause, P-C. I could use the fasting and I would tell the universe it was for finding a most excellent potential wife for you. I might mess things up and only repeat the mantra like 9 times and you would only get a so-so wife, so don't get your hopes up too high.

Nora Deirdre - Oct 30, 2009 11:06:17 am PDT #28705 of 30000
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

I'm married to an atheist!

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