Yes, I'm not quite sure how to respond, but I respect erika for bringing something up that clearly has been bothering her so directly and forthrightly.

ETA:

Because we are a willful group, we don’t give it where we don’t want to.

Suh-nerk.

Because we are a willful group, we don’t give it where we don’t want to. There is lots of support to give and those who want to will give it.

This.

Because we are a willful group, we don’t give it where we don’t want to.

Suh-nerk.

Heh. And Ditto.

Personally, I can't decide if that means a lot of Bitches agree with me or if a lot of them are looking up delicate ways to tell a brain-damaged person she sucks. And that thought almost pushed me into an immediate apology, but that sort of thing is probably why I'm so unhappy so much of the time...it's not that I don't get the people-pleasing family dynamic thing, it's more that since I posted that thought I don't have to suck it up now or do the bitchy, back-channel Girl thing and tell my friends Sunil has stupid hair because I'm annoyed.

it's more that since I posted that thought I don't have to suck it up now or do the bitchy, back-channel Girl thing and tell my friends Sunil has stupid hair because I'm annoyed.

Honestly, like Aimee said, everyone asks for support sometimes. And I don't think it's fair to single out one person because you're annoyed ... that he gets a lot of the support he asks for? But that's just me.

I don't believe in thread nannying, but I can understand how it can be frustrating if you feel that you are being routinely ignored while others get hairpats everytime. I never know how much of it is in my head when I feel that way, and how much of it is, "she's really annoying, and maybe if we ignore her she'll go away".

Oh for sure, sj! I have hand my hand hovering over the mouse button because I wonder if I'm "bothering" people too much with my same old bullshit. But then I remember, "Hey. That's what I love most about this place - that I'll get support no matter how many times I ask for it, even if it's the same Aimee Wants a Camel Bullshit." Those who want to offer support will, and those who don't won't. And honestly? I never notice who does or who doesn't. Maybe people were away, maybe someone has me MARCIE'd, maybe someone just plain doesn't give a shit. Any and all of those are viable outcomes. Either way, I feel good about the fact that I can at least ask.

I never know how much of it is in my head when I feel that way, and how much of it is, "she's really annoying, and maybe if we ignore her she'll go away".

I was just writing a post about this, but since sj said it better than I did, I'm going to just agree. I *always* feel like I am the annoying, uncool poster, but I think that's partly due to being the internet and partly me.

Well, I sort of think that asking for, and getting, the same advice, time after time, is kind of...thread abuse. I can't quantify it or obviously it wouldn't be so hard to talk about, and yes, I understand that everyone's life sort of has...themes, but they are under no obligation to be entertaining like programming, but at the same time... well, it's obvious we feel differently about this. In some cases, I feel that some individual posters have a bottomless need for support and reassurance that I, personally, occasionally feel resentful about satisfying. (And, unlike Poppy, I won't name anyone else) It doesn't mean I won't be sad when their cats die.

I try not to let my insecurities stop me from posting, but I never know if/when it is ok to say that I am feeling blinvisible.