I never know how much of it is in my head when I feel that way, and how much of it is, "she's really annoying, and maybe if we ignore her she'll go away".

I was just writing a post about this, but since sj said it better than I did, I'm going to just agree. I *always* feel like I am the annoying, uncool poster, but I think that's partly due to being the internet and partly me.

Well, I sort of think that asking for, and getting, the same advice, time after time, is kind of...thread abuse. I can't quantify it or obviously it wouldn't be so hard to talk about, and yes, I understand that everyone's life sort of has...themes, but they are under no obligation to be entertaining like programming, but at the same time... well, it's obvious we feel differently about this. In some cases, I feel that some individual posters have a bottomless need for support and reassurance that I, personally, occasionally feel resentful about satisfying. (And, unlike Poppy, I won't name anyone else) It doesn't mean I won't be sad when their cats die.

I try not to let my insecurities stop me from posting, but I never know if/when it is ok to say that I am feeling blinvisible.

In some cases, I feel that some individual posters have a bottomless need for support and reassurance that I, personally, occasionally feel resentful about satisfying.

I get how you feel. I have felt like that about individuals at times, and voiced those feelings. In hindsight, I wish I'd handled it differently or taken a different path. Calling someone out in thread only makes the other person hurt and embarassed and that, is totally uncalled for.

Totally OT, Frisco has finally recovered enough from the H1N1 that he wants to play. Since he's home without Ellie, he is absolutely *relishing* playing with all her favorite toys. All her horses, beads, and so on are now spread all over the floor.

You can always say what you feel. PC has the right to talk about his family issues, people can talk about their cats or camels or baseball or whatever. That's what MARCIE is for. If someone annoys you (which is going to happen no matter how awesome the group is as a whole), then, just like you would in person, "walk away" by MARCIEing them. We even make it convenient by having a block link next to someone's name.

Be that as it may, Erika (or anyone else) also has the right to say that they don't like something or express their frustration in that Santayana kind of way.

Frankly, I worry that I'm complaining about my mom too much (here and IRL :) ), but sometimes I say "fuck it, I need to vent, and if people don't like it, they'll tell me :) ) and, in this case, someone did. (well, not me, obviously)

Certainly I think everyone has a right to bitch and get support in Bitches. It's one of the thread's great strengths. I think Erika is partly reacting to the fact that P-C keeps having the exact same problem: he wants to live his life and also keep his family happy. He knows how his family will react, yet he keeps telling them the truth, instead of the evasions and mumbles that have saved many of us so much grief. At some point, P-C, you're going to have to suck it up and decide whether your happiness or your mother's happiness is more important to you.

I never know how much of it is in my head when I feel that way, and how much of it is, "she's really annoying, and maybe if we ignore her she'll go away".

I am sj in this. To be completely trivial, I had those thoughts when no one said a word about my sprained ankle. I have a hard time talking about the current train wreck that is my life, so I tend to complain about the more minor everyday ills, but it would be nice to know someone was listening.

Well, I don't know what to say about that, because I don't want anyone to be offended, but at the same time, I don't feel that differently about what I said or why I said it. I mean, I could take it back to be a Thread Hero, or say that i'm on my period and have a shitty life so some sort of diminished-capacity thing should apply, but I can't take it back anyway.ETA: I'm sorry, Ginger. Somehow I missed your ankle post.

I am sj in this. To be completely trivial, I had those thoughts when no one said a word about my sprained ankle. I have a hard time talking about the current train wreck that is my life, so I tend to complain about the more minor everyday ills, but it would be nice to know someone was listening.

I think everyone has had those times when they have felt ignored because a post gets buried in the flow of the thread. I'm all for people venting and getting support, if I have nothing to contribute, then I just don't post. Maybe, I should be a bit more willing to post even if I feel like I have nothing to add.

Yeah, I have historically had the world's worst timing when I have needed hairpats, else I have just been too vague or something.

Anyhow, I actually gave up on asking for them, because my timing was so bad and they always got lost in the shuffle. Them's the breaks.

It's not acceptible, however, to try to bully someone into shutting up, which, Erika, is what it felt like you were doing here, and what it felt like you were doing months ago when you ripped into Susan in GWW. I know you get frustrated, and I understand that sometimes it is hard to avoid, because even if you use block functionality, blocking doesn't block responses to a person, but it feels like there should be a better way of articulating that.