Well played, tiny person. Well played.

They are here to replace us, you know.

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Well played, tiny person. Well played.

They are here to replace us, you know.

It's the circle of spit up.

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Admitting when the conference ends -- fine, but you have plans for Saturday -- even if the plan is not to spend time with your parents.

You have networking to do. Important networking. Networking that could lead to Great Things.

Seriously, P-C, you have to learn that what your parents don't know won't hurt you.

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I hate how everybody stops the thread when Sunil has to ponder something deep, like bailing on a lunch date. (of course, I can finally say the word "blender" without shaking, so that's nice.)

• However* other people need support from time to time as well.

I didn't make a point of mentioning it yesterday, so that's my fault, but, you know? Culture or no culture, Sunil, you will do your future family a real disservice if you get married without being able to stand up for your wife and yourself. My dad didn't and it mortally damaged his marriage. My mother is still pissed about it and Grandma has apologized...over twenty years later, but Indians don't corner the market on family suckitude. I might not be a Hindu, but I know that much. And I think you are looking for some magical way to please everyone that doesn't exist anymore now than the other twenty times Bitches came to a hugpile halt for you. (puts on flameproof suit)

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(I'm quietly amused that erika's post has now stopped the thread for almost an hour. No opinion on the actual substance of the post though, because confrontation makes me want to run to the next room, going "la la la la")

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Ok. I’m going to step in and say something and hopefully open the thread back up.

All of us – every last one of us in this thread and on this board with any sort of regularity - have asked for support from our fellow Buffistas. And we have all received it in one form or another. Be it brackets or care packages or words of encouragement or sage advice or tough love. The majority of us have asked for support on the same issue numerous times. Whether it is hair pats, reassurance, slaying of the body demons, advice on the same issue, or just general bitching about one particular aspect of our lives. Because we are a supportive group, we give the support when asked for. Because we are a willful group, we don’t give it where we don’t want to. There is lots of support to give and those who want to will give it. And those who don’t want to won’t. But I, personally, don’t think it’s fair to tell someone they are asking for too much from the group and that they are using up all of the support. I wouldn’t want anyone second-guessing whether or not they can ask for some support from their community. I don’t think that’s what we’re about.

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Yes, I'm not quite sure how to respond, but I respect erika for bringing something up that clearly has been bothering her so directly and forthrightly.

ETA:

Because we are a willful group, we don’t give it where we don’t want to.

Suh-nerk.

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Because we are a willful group, we don’t give it where we don’t want to. There is lots of support to give and those who want to will give it.

This.

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Because we are a willful group, we don’t give it where we don’t want to.

Suh-nerk.

Heh. And Ditto.

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Personally, I can't decide if that means a lot of Bitches agree with me or if a lot of them are looking up delicate ways to tell a brain-damaged person she sucks. And that thought almost pushed me into an immediate apology, but that sort of thing is probably why I'm so unhappy so much of the time...it's not that I don't get the people-pleasing family dynamic thing, it's more that since I posted that thought I don't have to suck it up now or do the bitchy, back-channel Girl thing and tell my friends Sunil has stupid hair because I'm annoyed.

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