So tonight I'm a little nervous because I'm going to go to a kick boxing class. I've wanted to do this for a long time and finally decided to, this is the free class and get information about the dojo kinda thing. It's newer in town and kinda small, and the guy I spoke to on the phone was very nice.

But I have this voice in the back of my head that says they are going to take one look at me and tell me I'm too out of shape to do this and come back when I've lost some weight.

Unless they're very different in your town than they are in mine, I guarantee they will encourage you no matter what shape you're starting from. What your head will try to screw you up with is something completely else. I've done karate, kung-fu, kick boxing at the gym (and some fencing, but I'm useless at it), and no one was ever anything but supportive (and I was never smaller than a size 18 for any of this, BTW). I used to do some of the demos that my karate school did because even though I was afraid I'd look like a doof, I hoped that if there was some other fat girl out there thinking she couldn't do it she'd see me and go, "Well if she can do it..."

In short, Go askye! (And if necessary, "Shush, askye's brain!")

In a last-ditch effort to redeem itself in my eyes, today also gave my recruiter a different job posting to submit me for that would pay $12/hr MORE than the contract job on my previous team. Here's hoping I get it.

IO(shallow)N, ebay is not giving me enough clicky links of b&w stripy blazers, and it is vexing.

askye, your brain is trying to fall under the sway of the Body Image Demons. The BIDs never, EVER tell the truth. Ignore them, and go forth to kickbox!

t crawls in and falls down dead

I ... I might have bitten off more than I can chew with this Girl Scout thing. Twenty crazy girls, pulling and chattering and swinging and crazy and talking and giggling and crazy and hyper and bouncing and running and DID I MENTION THE CRAXY?!?!?!

I think we might need another leader and a mason jar full of tranquilizers. And that's just for me.

We didn't get to do the project I wanted because the beginning of the meeting was total chaos. I misunderstood one mom and thought that her husband was getting their daughter from after school - nope. Dad just showed up at 6 and then around 6:15 asked where his daughter is. So now the family is going to be charged for late pick up which I'll pay for (gladly) but I feel like shit about it. To make it up to the girl, I made her my helper today and for that she earned one of her petals.

Seriously, though -- I wouldn't be a bit surprised or upset if half these parents came to me demanding their money back and declaring me Horrible. And of course, my mind being what it is, I wondering what sort of fool I am to even THINK about becoming a teacher.

OTOH - every girl (and one brother) gave me huge hugs on their way out and that felt *awesome*.

And Shir, sweetie. {{{Shir and family}}} Much much love and health~~ma to you all.

Twenty crazy girls, pulling and chattering and swinging and crazy and talking and giggling and crazy and hyper and bouncing and running and DID I MENTION THE CRAXY?!?!?!

Twenty??? I would think three-quarters of the job would be to make sure they didn't do any grievous harm to themselves or the world for however long they're with you.

Twenty. Twenty girls. All of them best friends and mortal enemies.

And one girl who is, I believe, emotionally impaired leading them all. That would be me.

And one girl who is, I believe, emotionally impaired leading them all. That would be me.

Lead them to Mordor!

Nah - terrible snacks and the orcs make for some ugly camping.

OTOH, it *would* earn us the Middle Earth Exploring petal.

Heh.

"Mommy? May I have a bedtime snack and watch Strongbad?"

And all is right with the world.