I am having cute girl angst!

So I met a very cute girl at the xkcd event on Monday night. There was much smiling, and we pretty much talked the whole evening except when Randall was speaking. She writes for io9, which makes her inherently geeky. She could have ditched me at any time, but she didn't, even waiting for me to make a final round so we could walk to Muni/BART together. It was the strongest crush I've had in quite a while.

Because she was new in town, I took the opportunity to invite her to a couple shindigs this weekend where she could meet some of my similarly geeky friends, and she seemed interested and told me to e-mail her the details. She had given me her card to send her pictures of the event in case she couldn't get good ones off her phone.

So I had had a lovely time, but as soon as I got home, the doubts and paranoia set in. She was just a friendly person and there was nothing special about me. She just liked smiling at people. She only cared about the pictures. She'd had a glass of wine that had impaired her judgment and made me seem cool and interesting.

It seems my fears were not unwarranted, as I have not heard back from her at all. I sent her the pictures on Monday night along with some more information about this weekend and got no response. She posted the story on io9 the next morning, so I knew she hadn't lost her hands in some freak accident. I sent another e-mail linking her to an Internet meme I had told her about that she hadn't seen and again got no response.

Nothing seemed to indicate that she would blow me off, so I don't know what's going on. There is the small possibility that something is up with her e-mail, but I don't know. I was thinking of trying her io9 address to see if that worked. Or giving her a call to make sure she actually got the e-mails because she might think I'm blowing her off. Unless that would make me crazy. I just don't understand.

Ow, writing it all out like that hurt.

Keep in mind that this is coming from a married woman with two kids.

I would call her or send her one more email at work. Not to be stalkery, but just to say that you enjoyed yourself, thought she did too, and were hoping to get together again. I'd say at this point, she may likely say no, thanks, but I really think it's better to know, if you can handle it.

I would take an additional step to make sure she received the emails, because they really do get tossed into SPAM at times.

Also, you are totally cool and awesome and she should respond to your email.

Dude, it's Thursday morning. Give her a little time.

Not to be stalkery

This is what I am trying to avoid!

just to say that you enjoyed yourself, thought she did too, and were hoping to get together again. I'd say at this point, she may likely say no, thanks, but I really think it's better to know, if you can handle it.

Obviously, I would not be having this much angst were she not a cute girl, but part of it is, what the hell, I thought I had made a new friend at the very least. Okay, new acquaintance at the very least. But even acquaintances acknowledge each other's existence.

they really do get tossed into SPAM at times.

I know that on a couple occasions, Gmail has randomly tossed me in the spam folder. My fear is that her io9 address goes to the same place, even though I know that replies I've gotten from them are from @io9.com. Would trying that e-mail and calling later on be overkill? All avenues are fraught with potential issues.

Dude, it's Thursday morning. Give her a little time.

Well, I would have expected at least some quick "Thanks for the pictures" e-mail. And while I know it's highly unlikely that she would actually come to the things this weekend, some sort of response before then would be nice. It doesn't take that long to send an e-mail! Am I being unreasonable?

Would trying that e-mail and calling later on be overkill?

Yes!

After reading the whole xkcd event and what you've written I think she was genuinely interested in seeing you again. So just be patient but you can feel free to give it an extra nudge.

Patience is a good thing.

It took The Girl nine months to decide she wanted to answer 'OK' to my question 'Would you like to go out for a drink sometime?' Although I hear nine months is a bit excessive for that.

After reading the whole xkcd event and what you've written I think she was genuinely interested in seeing you again.

Thank you. I thought so too, which is why I am confused and angsty.

So just be patient but you can feel free to give it an extra nudge.

She said she would tell me to call her, but she doesn't really answer the phone, so I'm likely to get her voicemail, which I don't know often she checks, but, uh, if I go that route I will write out what to say and try not to leave a catastrophically awkward one.

but, uh, if I go that route I will write out what to say and try not to leave a catastrophically awkward one.

Rehearse it beforehand! Keep it short and pleasant. There should be several days of separation between the email and call.

After that, no contact to her until you get a reply. If she's got an email from you and a phone call then it's entirely up to her at that point.

These are your rules.