"I'm the boss. Even when I'm wrong, I'm right."

This. Also, replace parent for boss there. My usual declaration when I am pushed too hard is reminding the employee or child that this is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship and I am the dictator. Deal or find another country.

One of the things I always liked about my dad was that he would take the time to listen. He would say "okay, I see your point" or "I can see why you would think that" but it was often followed by "but I'm the dad, so we do it my way." and I was okay with that, as long as my opinion was recognized.

Everything was fine for a few days until this morning. I waited for her at my office, to help me carry some items over to the event. I finally leave 20 minutes after she's supposed to get there, get to the venue, and she's sitting there, placidly reading her classwork. I said "what are you doing here? You were supposed to meet me at my office" She said "you told me to meet you here". I said "no, you were to meet me at the office" I was livid. I took care of a few things, then called her aside. I told her how unhappy I was, that even if she thought I'd told her to meet at here, why didn't she call when I didn't arrive, etc. She said "you told me to meet you here" I replied "no, I did not and the arguing with me stops NOW." She said "I'm not arguing with you" I said "when I say something that you believe is incorrect and you continue to contradict me? That's arguing with me." She then said "I disagree. You told me to meet you here. Next time I'll write it down so I can show you."

That, in regarding to what Steph and Nora just said: there's a line between being a Bitch and an idiot. I'm quite sure b.org ladies (and gents) aren't crossing said line very often.

ION, got back from my "not very often in Israel" advisor. According to what he emailed me, I won't very likely to have a job next year. That's because I'll be drowning in classes (and I'm not giving up the internship, dammit) ALL OVER AGAIN (if I'll get said classes in my schedule to begin with. I fear to see in 8 hours what the geniuses of the faculties have done to my carefully "choices" (as in, my only choice in most cases was "yay! I can take this mandatory class, it actually applies into my iron-casted schedule!". Seriously, I have no idea about what "preference system" they speak of).

Good thing my parents said it'll be OK and they'll be able to support me.

One of the things I always liked about my dad was that he would take the time to listen. He would say "okay, I see your point" or "I can see why you would think that" but it was often followed by "but I'm the dad, so we do it my way." and I was okay with that, as long as my opinion was recognized.

I wish I could have been as cool as you and your dad, Vortex. But since I felt that my opinion was recognized (and if not, I'd find a way to make my opinion to be recognized), I'm at a point where it's more important to me that my opinion will matter than it'll be recognized. Maybe because I'm feeling I'm compromising enough as is on a daily basis. I don't know.

It's about respect. As a manager, I welcome differing opinions, and often ask my reports if there's a better way (that they know of) that we can do things. I am eager for input, and open to their ideas. But they understand that there is a time and context for their ideas, and they need to be presented respectfully and not as a knee-jerk reaction.

The minute a report gets an attitude with me? They get pulled into a private meeting. And it doesn't happen more than once. They need to be respectful not only towards me, but to their colleagues.

One of the things I always liked about my dad was that he would take the time to listen. He would say "okay, I see your point" or "I can see why you would think that" but it was often followed by "but I'm the dad, so we do it my way." and I was okay with that, as long as my opinion was recognized.

I had a boss like that. He'd present a project and I'd present a methodology. He'd counter my idea with his own. I'd counter with the plusses and minusses of each (with my idea, of course! being the stronger). Sometimes he'd choose mine, sometimes not.

The first time it was not my idea that won out, he said, "So, you'll do it my way?" I said sure. He said, "You still disagree with me, though, don't you?" I said of course I do, but you're the boss. He looked a bit surprised, but pleased.

We got along great.

God, I am so not cut out to be a boss. Or a parent.

/mememe

One of the things I always liked about my dad was that he would take the time to listen. He would say "okay, I see your point" or "I can see why you would think that" but it was often followed by "but I'm the dad, so we do it my way." and I was okay with that, as long as my opinion was recognized.

When I was growing up my Dad called this method "Russian democracy - everyone votes and then we do what I say."

Last week, I emailed my advisor several times, starting on Sunday, asking to meet with him early in the week, because I would be leaving town on Thursday, and I had several things I wanted to discuss. He emailed me back late Tuesday night, saying that he could meet with me at 5 on Wednesday. I said fine.

One of the things I wanted to discuss with him was submitting an abstract to give a talk at a meeting in January. I had something that would sort of fit into one of the special sessions, but it would be approaching it from a different angle than the way I normally approach it. We discussed a little about how to do that. I said that the abstract deadline was Tuesday (that would be, today.) He said that if I got a draft of the abstract sent to him by Friday, then he could get back to me with comments and suggestions by Monday.

So. I put together something while on the train on Thursday and sent it to him Friday morning. And I just sent in exactly that as my submitted abstract, because I have not heard back from him since then.

Hil, did a calendar frighten your advisor when he was a small child? He seems to have an unhealthy relationship with scheduling.