Dear God, it is a busy day on Buffistaland!

Happy birthday, erika. I wish you'll have a wonderful year.

Congrats, P-C!

Job~ma to whomever needs it.

{{Laura}}

Continued smooth operation and recovery~ma to omnis' dad, and {{}} to omnis who deserves hugs anytime.

And much ~ma of all kinds to Buffistas' pets and humans. {{{}}}

Anyone else needs anything?

Fred, I do hope Rigatoni can turn things around. Much cat~ma to you and Hubs.

Congratulations P-C!

((Laura)) ((Omnis)) ((Fred))((Barb))

Vibes still going out to your dad and the team caring for him, omnis. Almost halfway done by now.

Lots and lots of pet~ma to all the critters who need it.

And happy fucking birthday, erika! The universe owes you not just a good year, but a fucking brilliant one; here's hoping it starts now.

And congrats, P-C. And please hold onto this as proof that you can be a smart, competent grown-up; hang onto it and use it to shore up your confidence when the big not-fun boundary drawing starts with your family. Everyone else has already said all the best and wisest stuff (especially Liese, but really everyone), and all I can suggest is What They Said, and maybe practice?

Do an improv. Talk to your brother. Think of the absolute worst, most wounding, wounded, manipulative things either parent could possibly say and do, and run through all the worst-case scenarios with a sib or a trusted friend until you've got a script. (I have totally done this for difficult conversations and it sounds loony but it does actually help.)

Great news P-C!!! Congrats!!!

Continued & extra cat~ma for Rigatoni.

No news from NY. Still too soon. I'm going on no news is good news.

Fingers crossed for your da omnis.

Do an improv. Talk to your brother. Think of the absolute worst, most wounding, wounded, manipulative things either parent could possibly say and do, and run through all the worst-case scenarios with a sib or a trusted friend until you've got a script. (I have totally done this for difficult conversations and it sounds loony but it does actually help.)

This would be my advice as well, PC. JZ is wise. And congrats on the promotion. May the acknowledgment ripple out into all areas of your life.

Congrats, P-C! That's terrific, especially in this economy.

I know! I knew I deserved the promotion, but I was thinking the accompanying raise might be less than I might have deserved for economic reasons, but it was pretty sweet!

And congrats, P-C. And please hold onto this as proof that you can be a smart, competent grown-up; hang onto it and use it to shore up your confidence when the big not-fun boundary drawing starts with your family. Everyone else has already said all the best and wisest stuff (especially Liese, but really everyone), and all I can suggest is What They Said, and maybe practice?

I called my mom—I decided that my original plan of not telling them for a while and just randomly dropping it in one day as oh by the way I got a promotion a few weeks ago would just be childish and inappropriate—and she of course asked how much I made now ("Oh, that's not bad!" she said, surprised) and then asked whether I could go finish my PhD now. I told her I had no intention of doing so, and could she please just focus on the good and stop criticizing my life? She didn't know how that was criticizing my life; all she said was could I get a PhD now. I told her it was criticizing my personal choices, and I knew she was upset I didn't finish it. Thankfully, she backed off and just congratulated me.

(This is relevant to the marriage discussion as an example of how she seems to have no idea how she comes across to me.)

I don't think she cares how she comes across to you. It does not seem as if your feelings are her priority.

She didn't know how that was criticizing my life; all she said was could I get a PhD now. I told her it was criticizing my personal choices, and I knew she was upset I didn't finish it. Thankfully, she backed off and just congratulated me.

Hey, this is good. You're getting the hang of it.

No shit to what javachik said, P-C. It took me until I was 33 to say anything like this to my father. Fortunately, it really shook him up and things started to change after that. I hope that holds true for you, too. (As of now, not when you're 33!) Also, congrats on the promo and pay raise!

~ma to Rigatoni, o_a's dad, KBD, and those others as needs it (because I know I've forgotten people.) Also, {{{}}} to them and Laura and whomsoeverelse may need it today.

And, Happy Fucking Birthday, erika!!