Congrats, P-C! That's terrific, especially in this economy.

I know! I knew I deserved the promotion, but I was thinking the accompanying raise might be less than I might have deserved for economic reasons, but it was pretty sweet!

And congrats, P-C. And please hold onto this as proof that you can be a smart, competent grown-up; hang onto it and use it to shore up your confidence when the big not-fun boundary drawing starts with your family. Everyone else has already said all the best and wisest stuff (especially Liese, but really everyone), and all I can suggest is What They Said, and maybe practice?

I called my mom—I decided that my original plan of not telling them for a while and just randomly dropping it in one day as oh by the way I got a promotion a few weeks ago would just be childish and inappropriate—and she of course asked how much I made now ("Oh, that's not bad!" she said, surprised) and then asked whether I could go finish my PhD now. I told her I had no intention of doing so, and could she please just focus on the good and stop criticizing my life? She didn't know how that was criticizing my life; all she said was could I get a PhD now. I told her it was criticizing my personal choices, and I knew she was upset I didn't finish it. Thankfully, she backed off and just congratulated me.

(This is relevant to the marriage discussion as an example of how she seems to have no idea how she comes across to me.)

I don't think she cares how she comes across to you. It does not seem as if your feelings are her priority.

She didn't know how that was criticizing my life; all she said was could I get a PhD now. I told her it was criticizing my personal choices, and I knew she was upset I didn't finish it. Thankfully, she backed off and just congratulated me.

Hey, this is good. You're getting the hang of it.

No shit to what javachik said, P-C. It took me until I was 33 to say anything like this to my father. Fortunately, it really shook him up and things started to change after that. I hope that holds true for you, too. (As of now, not when you're 33!) Also, congrats on the promo and pay raise!

~ma to Rigatoni, o_a's dad, KBD, and those others as needs it (because I know I've forgotten people.) Also, {{{}}} to them and Laura and whomsoeverelse may need it today.

And, Happy Fucking Birthday, erika!!

This conversation is timely...tonight is the twice a year photo op with the old man. He was a total douche and waited till the last *possible* second again to make the plans...can I *be* less special please, really, I love it!(Entourage has given me such a "douche" or "douchebag" habit...it's like college, except I'm not the one giving the feminist lecture this time.) If only calling someone a douchebag stopped this conversation. But, alas... but unlike Sunil, I'm trying to make peace with a relationship that plagues me like a dead socket rather than trying to renegotiate a living organism. I tried; he wasn't having it.(I wish I could have the time back I wasted..it's easier this way. A couple times a year, I listen to Everclear songs and "Cat's in The Cradle" and cry...it still feels less stupid than whipping out the old I-statements to somebody who doesn't give a fuck.)

Nothing stupid about Everclear and Chapin. They've written that particular pain very clearly.

I think "Father of Mine" is brilliant, btw. It's such a trip when somebody talking about their experience nails the feelings enough that he could be talking about yours.ETA: I didn't mean stupid, exactly...just sometimes that makes me feel like the put-upon teen that got a little too into singing along with "Everybody Hurts" You know.

For the record, Apple Fritter Timbits are disappointing as they have no apple filling. Fortunately, they guy who sold me the box o' ten gave me 7 sour cream and 5 lame apple fritter.

I feel like he had my back.

I think "Father of Mine" is brilliant, btw. It's such a trip when somebody talking about their experience nails the feelings enough that he could be talking about yours

I love Everclear, and yeah, I agree. Years ago I realized that "She" perfectly describes my relationship with my parents. I have no idea what Billie Joe was actually writing about, but hey. Also "Your Fire Your Soul," and I got to thank Dar for giving me a song that fit so perfectly with my life.

Well done, P-C. Sounds like you made your position clear without being aggressive.