No, not yet.

The official answer is that she's not ready yet, she wants to focus on her studies, so it could just be a coincidence that she's backing out after I leave a stupid voicemail.

And now I'm being told to grow up and only leave "Hi, please call me back" voicemails and also have a regular voicemail greeting because wanting a creative voicemail greeting is not a grown-up thing. I don't know why I bother to fight them on this since no one ever calls me but them anyway, so it's not like anyone ever gets to appreciate my voicemail greetings.

I think you should just leave a "Hi, call me back" message. Be a little more Don Draper and leave some room for things to unfold. Being set up is uncomfortable enough, wanting someone to know all about you right up front is not gonna help.

I think you should just leave a "Hi, call me back" message.

Well, yeah, I'm definitely doing that next time. I just had no idea what the hell I was supposed to say, and "Hi, call me back" didn't seem like enough. It seemed like it didn't count.

No, not yet.

Well, rambly voicemails can go horribly awry.

I just had no idea what the hell I was supposed to say, and "Hi, call me back" didn't seem like enough. It seemed like it didn't count.

Stupid humans with all their tricky protocols and expectations!

But for future reference: "Hi, call me back" is fine. Preferred even, especially if you don't know the person well.

Maybe elaborate a little on "Hi, call me back." Like including your name. "Hi, this is Polter-Cow, call me back."

The official answer is that she's not ready yet, she wants to focus on her studies,

This is very likely the truth. No doubt she is under similar pressure from her parents and likes it about as much as you do.

There is a real future wife out there. I hope it is someone that appreciates your humor and intelligence. If I had a daughter I'd be delighted to have you as a son-in-law. t /mommy

OM, Erin, awesome news! Best reason ever to move to Kansas.

Hrm, i want to purchase a knife. Like, a substantial pocket knife that won't fold back and cut off my fingers when i'm trying to cut through overgrown brush whilst looking at long abandoned foreclosed homes. I don't even know where to start!

Great. According to my sister, now my mom is freaking out and crying wondering where she went wrong with me; apparently she is taking my behavior to mean I don't want to get married and I'm only being difficult to avoid getting married. Which is partly true, as I have told her three million times I don't really feel like I'm ready to be married right this instant but fine I will talk to these girls and see what happens, so I don't know why she thinks this is something new. Plus, some of her friends' kids are getting married, and I'm not, so she is clearly a failure as a mother. After she hung up with me, she started crying and now's she praying/crying.

I swear, if I'm not married within the next few months, she's going to die of stress and it will be my fault.

Because not being married is possibly the worst thing in the world.

t rolls eyes

I swear, if I'm not married within the next few months, she's going to die of stress and it will be my fault.

You know, P-C, even with toddlers we know that crying and making a fuss because you don't get want gets you a timeout.

Don't play along with your mother's histrionics. All she's going to get is a sinus headache. (And deservedly.)