Because not being married is possibly the worst thing in the world.
t rolls eyes
When you look back at this, in the three seconds it'll take you to turn to dust, I think you'll find the mistake was touching my stuff.
Buffy ,'Lessons'
Spike's Bitches 44: It's about the rules having changed.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Dana - Sep 13, 2009 11:54:49 am PDT #22916 of 30000
I'm terrifically busy with my ennui.
DavidS - Sep 13, 2009 11:56:52 am PDT #22917 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
I swear, if I'm not married within the next few months, she's going to die of stress and it will be my fault.
You know, P-C, even with toddlers we know that crying and making a fuss because you don't get want gets you a timeout.
Don't play along with your mother's histrionics. All she's going to get is a sinus headache. (And deservedly.)
Burrell - Sep 13, 2009 12:05:09 pm PDT #22918 of 30000
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
P-C, I have to side with Hec here. You know perfectly well that your mother is not going to die if you don't get married this year. Or even next year. She knows it too.
Let her have her cry, but don't mistake it for anything more than it really is.
Polter-Cow - Sep 13, 2009 12:10:43 pm PDT #22919 of 30000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
I hate hurting people, even when I don't mean to.
sj - Sep 13, 2009 12:10:43 pm PDT #22920 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
P-C, I agree with Hec and Burrell.
(((((Nora)))))
Atropa - Sep 13, 2009 12:23:38 pm PDT #22921 of 30000
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
I hate hurting people, even when I don't mean to.
Welcome to being a grown-up. I'm serious. I hate hurting people, especially when I don't mean to. But IT HAPPENS. And your mother is, in all honesty, throwing a tantrum to control you. So yeah, I agree with Hec and Burrell.
Laura - Sep 13, 2009 12:24:27 pm PDT #22922 of 30000
Our wings are not tired.
Sunil, I sit on the don't give in to emotional blackmail bench with the rest of the crowd. It is much better for your mother to have a good cry than for you to have a bad marriage.
NoiseDesign - Sep 13, 2009 12:32:19 pm PDT #22923 of 30000
Our wings are not tired
I have unkind things to say about your mother.
Cass - Sep 13, 2009 1:04:22 pm PDT #22924 of 30000
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Yeah, but you don't want to marry me. Well, Trudy might, for the lulz.
I say present this as an option for your mom. That'll put the marzipan in her pie plate, bingo!
Steph L. - Sep 13, 2009 1:13:32 pm PDT #22925 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
I hate hurting people, even when I don't mean to.
And your mother is, in all honesty, throwing a tantrum to control you. So yeah, I agree with Hec and Burrell.
You AREN'T hurting your mother. I cannot stress that strongly enough. If she is choosing to get upset when something (your life) doesn't adhere to the specifications that SHE set up, that is her own issue.
The fact that you aren't married yet IN NO WAY has anything to do with her. NOTHING. It is NOT ABOUT HER. I cannot stress that strongly enough.
Or, put it another way -- her tantrum IS all about her. Whether or not you're married is all about you and no one else, except, when it happens, your wife.
I get ragey and asscappy about this because my own mother has done things like this my entire life. Making every fucking thing about my life into HER issue. And when I didn't live up to the parameters that she imposed, she would lose her shit and make me feel horrible for "hurting" her.
It only stopped when I decided that her shit is just that -- HERS. She still does it from time to time, but I just let it stay where it belongs -- with her.
It's not easy. I don't mean to imply that it is. In fact, it's fucking hard and painful.
And I know how enmeshed your family is, and I know there's a lot of cultural issues that I can't really understand. But I still absolutely believe that you can have a very enmeshed family while letting your mother's shit be hers and only hers. It's very very possible.
You feel like you're hurting her because you're buying in to her issues and her shit. All you can do is acknowledge that she's flipping out, and then go about your life.