Hmm. Interesting timing for the house conversation. I was just coming here to pick the hivemind.

How, I wonder, does one indicate to one's so that one is thinking "Hey, maybe we should live together!" without freaking him out? I'm there 4 or 5 nights, we would both save some money, and we get along together really well. And, yo, I'm in love with him.

I feel ready. It's been 6 months -- is it too soon? I've never had to negotiate this kind of emotional thing before - I'm really fumbling, and I don't want to dick anything up.

(why do I feel like I'm writing into Cosmo?!)

I'm just looking for some thoughts. I loves me the analysis.

Erin, I don't know the answer, but I am terribly happy for you that you've gotten to this point. :)

I can easily spend a third to half of my weekend doing basic upkeep chores around the place. I love it, and get a lot of satisfaction from it, but still...

I do this and I rent a house. I'd actually like to buy this house one day, so who knows. I get along very well with my landlady (I am the first person renting this place--she moved in with her boyfriend) and she's already talked about selling it to me. I love puttering around cleaning, fixing and gardening. I have a whole list of stuff I'd do if I bought it (including turning the garage into an office/guest room).

6 months sounds like too soon to me unless there are practical considerations like a lease coming up for renewal.

Erin, I don't know the answer, but I am terribly happy for you that you've gotten to this point. :)

wait, can I change my answer? I may be commitment phobic.

Has he given any kinds of hints or openings, Erin?

Have any long term plans been bruited about? Because you can usually gauge from those when to open this topic.

Erin, I would just ask. But learn to follow up after the first answer. When I was in the same circumstances and brought this up to the DH, his answer was that he "didn't think it was a good idea." When I picked my heart off the floor and finally asked why, and he said, "Well, this place is so small, where would we put our books and clothes? I just moved in as I don't want to have to move again so soon" So, his issue wasn't the living together but the practicality of it--and he ended up having a captain's bed built so I would have room for my clothes and we cohabited very nicely thenkyewverymuch.

Our climbing rose in front of the house is making another attempt to reach the power lines.

Go, Audrey, go!

Are the two or three nights that you aren't spending together "oh, time on my own, yay, I can have time of my very own" or just a scheduling thing, Erin?

I'd never heard of a captain's bed and now I want one.

My neighborhood's block party is tonight too, but I think I'll skip it because today has been Attack Of The Demon Child at our house. Dylan woke up cranky and has been refusing to speak all day. He points and grunts. When we ask him to use his words, he'll sign instead. I'd be worried he had a stroke, except that when I threaten a time out if he doesn't use words, he suddenly has a momentary full recovery. So whatever's going on, it's entirely mood related and I am SICK TO DEATH OF IT.

buying without having sold the old house previously

This is going to be us should we move. We've never been able to sell a place before we've moved out of it because 1) we have a lot of shit and it's impossible to keep a house staged for selling and 2) the dogs. It's literally just easier for us to move out. The worst part is knowing that we're going to take a financial hit on a move since we bought before the market bottomed out so spectacularly and so the value on our house has dropped immensely. The only upside is that we bought the house at a good price for the time, since the owners really wanted out of it.

I'm there 4 or 5 nights, we would both save some money, and we get along together really well. And, yo, I'm in love with him.

This part sounds more important than the 6 months part, to me. Scrappy is, as usual, wise, so I will echo her a bit - tell him what you want and why, just like you lay it out for us, and listen to his actual answer, don't try to guess what he "really" means. I'd imagine that factors like his son and history and blah blah blah being human-cakes make predicting his answer complicated, at best.

So happy you're happy, regardless!