In the ongoing saga of my mother and her craziness about my (now late) father.

She organized a memorial Mass held today for my father.

The atheist. Who hated organized religion.

And truthfully, I can't tell you the last time my mother stepped in a church herself.

Of course, she didn't said a word to me about it. My sister called me to tell me about it on her way to the church. First time she's stepped in a Catholic church in YEARS. She was relieved the walls didn't collapse around her.

Apparently the ex-mistress/wife (the one he left my mother for thirty years ago) showed up with their daughter. Both in tight black pants, white shirts, and black bras. My mother, predictably absolutely LOST her mind and told the ex-mistress/wife to get her cheap, trashy ass the fuck out.

In church.

Just needed cheetos and Aqua Net to make it all complete.

And now she comes tomorrow to visit for a week.

God help me.

Clearly, she is not from New Jersey, as she did not flip a table.

Ha! Barb, your momma should so totally star in a "Real Widows of Florida" series on Lifetime.

Ha! Barb, your momma should so totally star in a "Real Widows of Florida" series on Lifetime.

Oh heavens no. Because that would be tacky.

Now, please to pass the crowbar and KY jelly so I can pry my tongue from my cheek.

Barb, insent.

Aims is sending you a crowbar and KY jelly?

I do have both.

Oh, Barb. Your tale of mother ... stuff reminds me that it has been some time since I last actually spoke to mine. Maybe I should call her.

heh, I'm reminded of that Rahm-and-mother's day joke.

My mother, predictably absolutely LOST her mind and told the ex-mistress/wife to get her cheap, trashy ass the fuck out.

I'm thinking maybe she craves the drama and leveraged the memorial for maximum effect.