You mean to indicate 'generally attractive but not at all interesting'?

Pretty much. Attractive in a way that doesn't stand out from the deluge of attractive people in various forms of media.

I am in pretty major disagreement territory with mac's therapist. He is not bringing home homework from his summer program and he is lying about it. Now, if I had my way, he would either have gone to a summer program with no academic element, or there would only be classroom and no homeowrk given, but this is the program he INSISTED he attend. But he is there and the other kids do the work and he is lying about it. I feel I should have some reaction to that, she says no let it go, no consequences. How is that not reinforcing the lying? anyone havce lying mcliar toddlers at some point? how did you address it?

My child doesn't have much more than a limbic system, so I have little to offer. I guess one question is, are there any consequences within the program itself?

(And what's up with her name? I wouldn't be able to say it aloud without adding "de Paul Society")

I think that's just her name for her solo work.

I babysat a kid who lied. He was about 7 at the time and bent reality on a regular basis. Once I showed up to babysit and he told me his mom was sick and didn't go to work and they didn't need me that day. Not the truth, needless to say, which I found out after I drove home and got a worried call from the mom wondering why I didn't show up. He got called on his lies, but not punished, as I recall. He had to acknowledge when he lied and apologize if neccessary, but that was all the punishment he got.

He grew up to be a very honest and lovely guy.

I feel I should have some reaction to that, she says no let it go, no consequences.

Why is she saying to let it go? I'm not a parent, of course, but I would think that lying should pretty much always have consequences. But maybe if she is saying let it go to focus on some other, more important, thing right now that would make sense? gah. parenting is complicated!

Depends what the goal is for mac in this program -- catching up with his language skills or getting socialization primarily? Because you don't always have to do the homework to get the stuff you really need out of school, and it might help if he stops being nervous about goals and just enjoy the place for a couple weeks.

How is the teacher handling the lack of homework?

She says let it go because we have so many other things that are problematic, like him being denied anything.

Hmm msbelle. Is the therapist against your even acknowledging that he's lying? Or just against leveling consequences? Also aren't there other consequences built into his actions, like not doing as well on his academics?

Maybe mac needs more play time built into his day. I suppose it's too late to switch him into another summer program?

Please forgive me if I am just being annoying and asking too many questions.

How is that not reinforcing the lying? anyone havce lying mcliar toddlers at some point? how did you address it?

Yeah, I'm not really getting the therapist's POV on this. OTOH, Emmett would have a full on strike if he had to do homework over the summer. And since he's diligent about doing it during the school year I respect that. I already think he gets too much homework, and it's kind of stressful.

And it seems like it would cause problems back in the regular school year to let it slide.

On the flip side, kids don't have much in the way of autonomy or ordering their lives and it feels very oppressive to them sometimes. Lying about homework and sneaking out and other such minor offenses are a way to claim space in their lives that only belongs to them. They're not constantly accountable to somebody.

I think you'll have a huge, stressful blowout with Mac if you have to confront him about it. What I would do is say, "Look, I know you're not doing the homework. I don't want you to lie to me about it. But I don't think you really need to do a bunch of homework either. So let's take a break from homework this summer and get back to it in the fall."

You have to use it judiciously but one of the best ways to ease tension is to cut them some slack. And it has long term benefits helping to build trust and knowing that you understand them and are on their side.

I lied like a rug as a kid. Most of the time I got away with it. The real punishment was when I got caught out by my siblings.