our neighborhood board has a poster who likes to question people's parenting decisions and safety choices OFTEN IN ASSCAPS.

I'm really thankful my neighborhood doesn't have an email list.

Oh, there is so much drama! Latest is of coming down on robbery victim for her negative attitude voiced on list. Dude, she was robbed! She's bitter, let it lay. But she got all HATE THIS PLACE YOU SUCK and people are taking it personally. Me? I laugh because someone DIED behind crimetape that included my car of late. Neighbors at my maybe new place are exchanging tons of numbers to facilitate someone watching them when they get home in case of muggers, which is all kinds of love. Chance of that happening here? Well, I have 3 good ones. Really, they don't know what they got in newberhood. They're working, but they don't know. ( As I listen to a neighbors's neglected/unsocialized pretty pit bark his head off, confined to a balcony. Just wrong.)

What my neighborhood list made me realize is how little online interaction people are used to. Like going back and looking at the first few months of one's post on here. woah, not pretty (speaking only for myself). I comment really rarely on there, and I have met people irl that I know post (including ASSCAP no social skills lady) and I never divulge more than the fact that I know about the site.

I am so excited about your new house, sara! Also, poor pit-- they can be lovely dogs (one of my work friends has two rescues and they are sweet as pie, although a little exuberantly friendly).

I am having neighborhoody-- or rather bus-- issues. I love the bus and I love public transportation, but on the occasions where I am taking the bus at an odd time of day in my work clothes, or where I have to wait downtown for an extended period of time, I cannot deal with the amount of people asking me for money. I know I am a chump and an easy mark, but I feel so guilty if I don't give something. Yesterday my bus was late and I had to wait for 45 minutes downtown, and 6 people either asked me for money or tried to sell mesomething in about 15 minute, while I was wearing headphones! And I am still feeling guilty for not helping. On the weekends I dress down and I am not bothered, but a white woman in a suit or dress clothes makes me look like I have money, especially since I do not look tough. I am wondering if I should just budget some money to go to these people. I did tell one guy he should apply for the HEAP (which is heating assistance) program, but I know that it is hard to get in touch with social workers in this county. My mom, before she retired, was a social worker in a neighboring county and she could barely get in touch with the case workers when people moved. And they moved because the neighboring county was easier to get in touch with about assistance. You practically have to have a college degree to just negotiate the system here because you do have to be really persistance and know the rules yourself. And I certainly do not blame the social workers who are extremely overworked and underpaid. It is all so frustrating, and so hard for people who can't even advocate for themselves. On the other hand, if you ask me for a quarter and I give you one, I do not appreciate you tryingto upsell me to a dollar. Aaargh.

Yesterday my bus was late and I had to wait for 45 minutes downtown, and 6 people either asked me for money or tried to sell mesomething in about 15 minute, while I was wearing headphones! And I am still feeling guilty for not helping.

Well, I'm hit up about 12 times a day every day and I just say, "Sorry" and keep walking.

You know what? You don't have that much money, Sophia. You really are not the person who's got a luxurious margin that you can afford to subsidize the street people. Acknowledge them, but firmly say, "I'm sorry." Think of it as a role and a script. You're Joan Allen, and you're all dressed up, but you really can't afford it. What Would Joan Allen Do?

David is right Sophia, you don't have the budget to help everyone who asks you. You are paying down debt. You should not feel guilty.

Thank you guys. I have been saying no (except for the young goth boy in eyeliner who asked me for a cigarette and 25 cents for the rest of his bus fare and then thanked me profusely), but it just hurts my heart sometimes. And I am sure in my work clothes I look much more wealthy than I am. I think I just need to think about te fact that if I pay off my debt, I could actually afford to help out in more significant ways.

I have a budget of sorts in my head for giving. And it doesn't include people on the street or unknown charities hanging outside the grocery store. I have a fair amount of friends in need -- they get first dibs. after that I have a few places that matter to me . I do what I can do , and I don't feel guilt if I say no

if I pay off my debt, I could actually afford to help out in more significant ways.

that is part of why I budget -- some day I want to do more