I have not watched SPN regularly for something like 2 years, and yet, when the opening strains of "Carry On My Wayward Son" come blasting from the garage next door, I immediately look around for the Winchesters or demons.

(Our neighbors are retired Hell's Angels, and kind of deaf. I can always hear whatever music Ray is listening to when he's out in the garage.)

I look around for a climax to misery and heartache.

I know you're not supposed to try and therapise someone from fic, but I just read one that was AU in ways I hadn't encountered before. John was typical-absent and had been negative in Dean's life. Dean was a singer who did Adam Lambert covers and had his long (semi-curly) hair dyed blue and black, who lived with Sam and Uncle Bobby. Bobby was in an on-again off-again affair with Ellen, but she wouldn't really go out with him because his drinking was out of control. Dean doesn't want to turn out like Bobby. Sam is house mom who does all the cooking and cleaning.

Dean is still resistant to going to school, Sam is mad they lost his SAT scores from freshman year, and Cas's life is quite interesting--the angels are children of deaf parents--Cas and Gabe are hearing, Mike, Luce, Anna and Samandriel are deaf. That is an interesting turn. But you can only take so many, you know? I felt like the premise was unsteady under my feet, and couldn't properly engage with the characters.

AKA shoulda been original fic.

eta: Oh! I was really here to post this-- [link] I remember reading people mocking JA's gait because he waddled with the bowlegs, but I've never noticed that, really, and Jared is totally doing the bigger swagger here.

I think Jared puts more hip into it.

I have to say, I think Adam Lambert is adorable, but Dean singing Adam Lambert covers? Yeah, no.

I think Jared puts more hip into it

I keep trying to work out the practical ramifications of Jensen's bowleggedness, and I hypothesise this might be one-his lateral pelvic swing might be impinged. Must research.

FOR ART.

For AUs, there are only so many lynchpins you can swap out, and most of them have to have a dotted line from starting assumptions. If there's no clear reason why he likes Lambert and our Dean would die first, it's not a cromulent choice.

I have sorely neglected my John Winchester tumblr (it's not really a concept with legs...), but DAMN. I make assumption #1 that John's primary motivation was to protect his children, and a lot of his bad decisions come from panic and lengths to accomplish this.

Are we to assume that he has only gone on hunts to further the search for Mary's killers and protect his sons? Or isn't it pretty clear (at least by the djinn episode) that he saves people because he's a hero too? Why do so few people take this into consideration in characterisation or meta-discussion? Why do they make him anti-intellectual when his brain impressed Ash?

Why can't you be a bad parent and many other things beside, including wanting the (flawed) best for your family?

I can't really even call him a bad parent -- or maybe I just hate to. But I know he loved the boys and wanted the best for them, and he also wanted to protect them from a shocking fate that not many people encounter.

His tunnel vision kept him from providing a lot by way of unconditional support or encouragement, as well as stability, but I like to hang onto stuff like Sam's soccer trophy and the fact that he was in the school play once. Most abusive alcoholic dads aren't going to give their blessing to a role in Our Town.

At this point I usually think he was a worse father to Dean, because he took a four-year-old and turned him into a helpmate and surrogate mother. Sam at least had Dean.

Sam turned out relatively okay--I mean, look how messed up we get and our parents aren't on revenge and protection missions. Relatively okay. Dean was sorely and categorically fucked quite specifically.

But you know how there's a tragic past that you woe-is-me dream of? Orphaning aside, they do have mine.

Dean is pretty fucked, it's true. At least he knows it now?

Hey, tomorrow's a new episode!

And you know what--along with a lot of fandom thinking a) John definitely hit Dean (as do I) and b) hitting means cruelty beyond the pale (I absolutely do not) I think many of them don't think kids can really like fighting and weapons more than softball. Or enough, anyway, to not be vitally damaged by pleasing their parent that way.

I was *not* a sporty kid. But I tried to spear, shoot, or punch everything that I was allowed to, and some that I was not. This was absolutely not rewarded behaviour, but little martial arts kids aren't a weird idea, right? This isn't making dysfunction out of whole cloth, maybe it's just making something abstractly acceptable too real for a child, which I think merits less panic.

Tomorrow's Cas, right?

Today is Cas! And the mini mart of goodness.

Right now 4.02 is on. Baby's first apocalypse! They look so stunned. Just wait, guys.