I can't really even call him a bad parent -- or maybe I just hate to. But I know he loved the boys and wanted the best for them, and he also wanted to protect them from a shocking fate that not many people encounter.

His tunnel vision kept him from providing a lot by way of unconditional support or encouragement, as well as stability, but I like to hang onto stuff like Sam's soccer trophy and the fact that he was in the school play once. Most abusive alcoholic dads aren't going to give their blessing to a role in Our Town.

At this point I usually think he was a worse father to Dean, because he took a four-year-old and turned him into a helpmate and surrogate mother. Sam at least had Dean.

Sam turned out relatively okay--I mean, look how messed up we get and our parents aren't on revenge and protection missions. Relatively okay. Dean was sorely and categorically fucked quite specifically.

But you know how there's a tragic past that you woe-is-me dream of? Orphaning aside, they do have mine.

Dean is pretty fucked, it's true. At least he knows it now?

Hey, tomorrow's a new episode!

And you know what--along with a lot of fandom thinking a) John definitely hit Dean (as do I) and b) hitting means cruelty beyond the pale (I absolutely do not) I think many of them don't think kids can really like fighting and weapons more than softball. Or enough, anyway, to not be vitally damaged by pleasing their parent that way.

I was *not* a sporty kid. But I tried to spear, shoot, or punch everything that I was allowed to, and some that I was not. This was absolutely not rewarded behaviour, but little martial arts kids aren't a weird idea, right? This isn't making dysfunction out of whole cloth, maybe it's just making something abstractly acceptable too real for a child, which I think merits less panic.

Tomorrow's Cas, right?

Today is Cas! And the mini mart of goodness.

Right now 4.02 is on. Baby's first apocalypse! They look so stunned. Just wait, guys.

I wonder how Cas deals with messy customers that demand pie when he's out of stock.

I was just watching a show with the following exchange:

"That news can't get out!"
"I'm a gravedigger...[cue audience nervousness???]...I bury bigger things than this all the time!"

Oh, right! People dig graves to put things in, not to take them out, burn them, and probably leave a huge mess with lots of prints.

I had genuinely forgot.

Time to go publish my very unseasonal D/C kiss of the day...::smooches::

Hey, it's the new guy's episode tonight -- Robert Behrens. Cool.

Oh, god, you panicked me that it was already...I should unsubscribe.

Cute baby plus Cas singing equals me ded.