Julie, did you find what you were looking for here:

I will now resume searching for the screengrab of Dean looking beautfully angsty about Cas.

OH, PICTURES: [link]

ISTG, that's a manip. Because someone clearly said "Grab me your favourite of each of the actors laughing, and slap them together in a picture with the car, which we always assume is laughing."

I mean, that's the only possible explanation.

Hey, is there a name for Team Free Will+car? Team Free Ride? I need to know.

I did not, ita !.

I finished that fic that I had said I was liking, and ended up slightly annoyed. It was one of those fics where Sam and Dean ARE Lucifer and Michael.

The Matrix fic was kinda nifty for a bit, but then ended in an uresolved place where Sam awakes from the Matrix and is still his Matrix-self and doesn't remember who he "really" is outside of the Matrix, whereas Dean doesn't remember any of his Matrix-self, his Show canon-self, and is instead some guy we and Sam don't know. It was quietly awful and needed much more exploring after that point. But, hey, Cas got a virtual Dean to play with inside the Matrix, and that's all we care about, right?

cheerios: found it! [link]

forgot about that website.

God, he's exquisite.

I don't think I'm going to read that Matrix story. Endings where Sam and Dean don't know each other are kind of the saddest ending in the world.

And I hope Carver understands that I don't mean that in any marginally positive sense.

Looking through the images of those scenes, I think I love [link] the most. It suitably captures the moment the best for me, and I can't even put words to everything that went through my mind (and heart!) at that moment. They both look kinda great here: [link] and this [link] choked me up again. But luckily I have this [link] to cheer me up. Bless.

That gif is hilarious.

I now can't stop staring at his right hand.

Another thing that made me sad was that, this time, for realz, Dean got Cas back, but it was so overshadowed with previous closure and doubt and wariness that it wasn't the heart-healing hugs that was the reunion in Purgatory. This time, as much as its been forshadowed for Dean, taunted to him in glimpses, when it's finally real, he can only sit back and get angry and confused.

I'm at least glad that Cas didn't try for a hug that would have gotten refused.

That hurts, that Dean wasn't in the headspace to be grateful that Cas was alive, that he defaulted to suspicious.

Dean seemed more committed to their reunion after the hospital, which is sad. Like, before he was Mad At Cas because Cas did something wrong and then something stupid, but now he's Madder At Cas because he thinks he did something wrong. It's all so deliciously broken--like Supernatural braised in a reduction of self-hatred and general suspicion.

That's it! Add one TB of DW tears to recipe for the perfect muffin crumb.

In seriousness, so, we got Dean feeling extra guilty now that Cas is out. Dean thinks he failed Cas getting him out. He's mad at Cas for getting out without his aid. Dean's supsicious of Cas getting out without his aid. I'm not sure what to make of that, other than Dean not believing it, and Dean feeling he's been denied the one thing that could absolve him of his guilt: getting Cas out. So, yeah, Dean's a little poleaxed, and not forthcoming with the hugs, because he's confused and at a loss since he's not the dude that did the deed.

God, it hits me that he doesn't get to return the favour of Cas pulling him out of Hell.