Right? (to all of that).

At least I could kinda sorta maybe track the muddled mess of reasoning, unlike nanoochka's elaborate unnecessariness. Although I kept waiting for Cas to admit that the reason Dean would hate him is because he ate babies fresh from the womb.

I don't have as much of an issue with the age discrepancies, but I was scrolling down the J2BB and the art for a J2 fic had a seriously deaged Dean (prostitute!) hugging a season 6 Sammy, and that was not my beautiful cake (and I'll happily read J2 AU's).

I fully don't even remember what Cas's reason for the assumed hate was.

So, I randomly started a tumblr. Juliebird, you especially are urged to contribute. I am so curious...

I don't think they ever actually got to that, now that I think about it. There was still, dear god in heaven, more talking to do. But Dean's "Say Anything" impersonation postponed it.

Hmmm, personal invitation to clicky the linky. Cannot resist.

Bwah!

I don't understand tumblr, but maybe I'll make one for Sam's "stupid hair" and bitchfaces in sequential order.

bitchfaces in sequential order

That would be an essential fanon resource.

There was still, dear god in heaven, more talking to do.

At least nanoochka had sex about once a chapter, once she got started. My god, cautionzombies was a tease. Also, worst broken up couple ever.

Okay, looking up stuff for my new fad is hysterical. I suck at keeping anything going, but it's fun so far.

rewatching the second to last ep, and Dean's in the hospital room with Lisa and Ben, and what struck me was the line, "I just lost control for a minute", and that suddenly sounded like so much more and made my heart break all over again. Like even Dean's secret desire for a family and normal life was reckless and irresponsible.

[link] pretty amazing vid manip. could be construed as Destiel. mostly it's just awesome and kind of heartbreaking.

I thought that was the saddest thing ever, but then I tried to watch the vid it's a sequel to, and I couldn't finish it because the idea was too depressing.

Cas continues to taste like very many things.

Juliebird, have you read Jollysnidge? I think she's my new guilty pleasure. She writes like a rabbit breeding, and goes to a couple depressing/disturbing places, but not too bad. She's firmly D/C, and she's never seen a movie she couldn't adapt. Dirty Dancing, seriously.

rewatching the second to last ep, and Dean's in the hospital room with Lisa and Ben, and what struck me was the line, "I just lost control for a minute", and that suddenly sounded like so much more and made my heart break all over again. Like even Dean's secret desire for a family and normal life was reckless and irresponsible.

At the time my heart clenched and I felt nothing but pity for Dean. He was in such despair and there he was sacrificing what seemed to be his only shot at a normal, happy life (or as close to normal and happy as he's going to get.) I'm pretty sure the writers intended it to be a maximum emotional whumpage moment for Dean, an ultimate Dean!woobie moment.

But the longer I've mulled it over (and, to be fair, the more I've read other peoples' discussions about the episode) I've drifted from my initial reaction of sorrow towards Dean and more towards horror at what he did. Not to put a fine point on it, he mind-raped Lisa. Yes, he did it because he wanted to take away the bad memories -- but they were her memories he was fucking around with, and I have strong negative reactions towards characters who do things like that (I was equally distressed when Willow did the same thing to Tara).

Also, he did it in an backwards upside-down way to make himself feel better -- sure, he's alone, but at least he knows that Lisa's not out there hurting and Ben's not out there angry, so he can absolve himself of a little bit of that guilt. Except -- he actually left her in a worse position because of what he did. Every evil thing out there still knows that Lisa and Ben are important to Dean, so they still have targets painted on them. Except they don't know it now. So they don't know anything about the supernatural or about the basics of how to protect themselves or who to call if they see anything weird going on.

So essentially he did a really bad thing and made matters worse.