The Biblical case against Santa: Santa Clause: The Great Imposter

The short version: Santa is Satanic.

Where does Santa Claus fit in the life of a young child? What about the teaching of Santa Claus in the psyche of a child? Is there more to jolly old St. Nick than meets the eye? Is Santa a clever, seemingly harmless, subtle (see Genesis 3:1) attempt to question the truthfulness of God? Is Santa the handiwork of Satan?

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The Devil is a master of disguise. He can make it appear good, pleasant, and seemingly so innocent – and yet it is deadly! The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 11:14, "And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light" He does not appear with horns and a pitch fork breathing fire. He might just appear as a pleasant, friendly, fellow, with "a broad face and a round little belly, That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. . ."

Could Santa Claus be a subtle, clever attack on our children to confuse, doubt and rob their God-ordained "child like" faith? Satan knows, if he can somehow get that child through those fruitful early years without trusting the Lord Jesus Christ – his goal of eternal damnation in hell increases substantially.

There's a shitload more, for your amusement.

In 1994, the satire magazine The Onion carried a parody of Santa Claus titled "Ho! Ho! Ho! I Am God". Even though, it was written as a blasphemous parody much truth rings from the article. The article says:

"I love visiting each and every one of your homes, stuffing your stockings with toys, and enjoying the milk and cookies you leave for me. But mostly I love Christmas because it's the celebration of the birth of my son, Jesus the Christ. You see, I'm God. . . Don't I look familiar? I'm old, I have a white beard, I love everyone. I'm the same God as the one you and your mommy and daddy worship on Sundays. . .

Okay, I admit it. I'm not God. But I'm better than God. I'm jollier, and I give you real toys, not boring old psalms and empty promises you can only collect on when you die. Worship me, not Him! Worship Santa! I am God!"

(Santa Claus, "Ho! Ho! Ho! I Am God!" The Onion, 29 Nov. - 5 Dec., 1994, p. 7)

And that is EXACTLY the message being preached to these little children! And they believe it!

MILITARY TRUISMS AND HUMOR

Which reminds me the following story, from the time I was in training for the Disengagement plan.

So, they took a lot of female soldiers for this. And there were few of us from each unit, and we didn't know each other, and we trained in groups that weren't the same as the units we came from. On day 2 or 3 of the training program, we tired to remind one of the girls from one of the other units we trained with the name of one of the girls from my unit. The dialog went as following:

Us: short, delicate...
Her: No idea.
Us: Black hair, glasses...
Her: Nope.
One of us: Oh, for the love of God. You kicked and dragged her on the asphalt yesterday and she called you "slut!".
Her: Oh! Now I remember!

::snort:: That's priceless, Shir.

Ple, Slate reviews the NewsRadio box set.

Oh, I might as well throw some context into it: we did simulations for evacuation itself, preparing for the worst case scenario.

Or: how I learned to evacuate people using mild force. I can be useful in demonstrations.

Unless you're a Mexican Jew. What? I know some.

Indeed-- here's one of my favorites. Nice boy by the name of Erick Elías.

[link]

Ple, Slate reviews the NewsRadio box set.

Aww. Man, I loved that show so much. I wonder if the box set has a better transfer than the DVDs we already own (it's the worst-looking DVD on our HD set by a lot).

I even have occasional nostalgia for the ill-fated 5th season.

The space station episode of NewsRadio was one of the all time WTF gambits in sitcom history.

Do you know your emotions? The Elevation to Disgust spectrum.

Sorry to be all Slate dump-y. But you should all check out the Pervert's Grand Tour of Europe too. (This section is actually only about Venice and Casanova but it's very interesting.)

The space station episode of NewsRadio was one of the all time WTF gambits in sitcom history.

The news report! The news report about the attack on the empire! SO FUCKING FUNNY.

Salon's piece on the epic fail of the publishing industry just scared the bejeesus out of me.

I'm spending my xmas vacation time rewriting. Why? It's weighing heavy on my pipe-dream of becoming a best-selling author before I die.