{{Brenda}} such a hard decision for you , but an easy one to make for her (does that make sense to anyone but me? ) peace ~~~

Oh, Brenda, such sadness. I'm so sorry. Everyone has said what I would say, except to add that the grief is a path, not a place, and it will pass.

You are doing the most courageous and loving thing possible. I think we sometimes forget, in the middle of not wanting to feel the loss, that letting our loved ones go is as big a gift to them as it is a sacrifice for us.

May both of your transisitons be peaceful, and warmed by the wisdom that it is right.

Bless you both.

Brenda, I am so sorry.

Congrats on the new kitty-son Nora. Marley's a lucky duck.

Java, adding an adult dog is SO personality dependant that there really is no 'how does this work.' I'd suggest looking at dogs in foster homes first. That way, you know more about their personalities becuase the caregivers have more intimate connection to them. Plus, you can arrange non-commited play dates to see how the pooches get on.

I've thought, many times, about getting Bartleby a dog of his own. In one case, I brought Hank, an all black version of the Bboy (so cute) home for an orientation. I was all about that dog! He immediately peed and exhibited dominant behavior. Bartleby is definitely a bottom and he just looked so stressed out. For a variety of reasons, I passed on Hank. He got adopted by a wonderful woman I know. She's now dealing with the fact that Hank has rage syndrome and can't be around other dogs. I feel bad for her, at the same time I am grateful to have dodged that bullet.

On the other hand, our friend Pony, who is a pit-mix HATES all other dogs except for Bartleby and two others. Through a series of events, her family adopted Gary, a Mountain Cur mix and I have to tell you, Pony is a changed bitch. She adores Gary and treats him like her baby. She still looks at every other dog as meat...it's sometimes horrifying...but she is so much happier at home with the new dog.

You just never know!

Marley has been making forays out from under the bed, mostly with Tom. I think he's going to be OK. What a love. Taz has been sitting in front of the door patiently, somewhat confused. He's not upset, so that's good.

Nora, I wish you the best of luck. Were my cathold only MK and Loki, we'd be golden. But I have my beloved Devi, who still thinks she should be an only cat looooong after MK arrived. Honestly, IME boycats buddy up and adjust, especially if they are loveys. Girlcats, NSM (especially if they are bitchy cranky little ones I identify so much with.) So you should be golden. Just let it happen slow if there is any aggression.

Their personalities are not aggressive, so I'm optimistic about their getting along.

Years ago, I read a book on 'cat psychology' and the one thing that jumped out at me is that we can sometimes work too hard to orchestrate our pets' ineractions. I was introducing my new kitten to the cat of the house we had just moved into. Saturday (all 26 pounds of her) was left behind by the woman who'd lived in the house for 40 years and was entering a facility.

Sabastia, the kitten (I'd named her after a Shakesperean character until I discovered that she was not a he and dropped the n) was terrified and disappeared for 3 days.

I felt like a huge failure as a cat mom, but the author put it very simply...'their relationship with each other is more important than their relationship with you and only they can work it out.'

In the end, they got on just fine and Sabastia grew up to be Saturday's equal.

{{Brenda}}. No words, but I know that this is helping a family member pass on.

Nora, what everyone else said about letting the kitties figure out their own dynamics is spot on. The only advice I have to offer is 1) adding some drops of Rescue Remedy to their water dish will help them be a little more mellow toward each other, and 2) the Feliway plug-ins seemed to help when we were trying to get Trinian (very dim, very crazy girlkitty) to adapt to the presence of the boykitties.