Years ago, I read a book on 'cat psychology' and the one thing that jumped out at me is that we can sometimes work too hard to orchestrate our pets' ineractions. I was introducing my new kitten to the cat of the house we had just moved into. Saturday (all 26 pounds of her) was left behind by the woman who'd lived in the house for 40 years and was entering a facility.

Sabastia, the kitten (I'd named her after a Shakesperean character until I discovered that she was not a he and dropped the n) was terrified and disappeared for 3 days.

I felt like a huge failure as a cat mom, but the author put it very simply...'their relationship with each other is more important than their relationship with you and only they can work it out.'

In the end, they got on just fine and Sabastia grew up to be Saturday's equal.

{{Brenda}}. No words, but I know that this is helping a family member pass on.

Nora, what everyone else said about letting the kitties figure out their own dynamics is spot on. The only advice I have to offer is 1) adding some drops of Rescue Remedy to their water dish will help them be a little more mellow toward each other, and 2) the Feliway plug-ins seemed to help when we were trying to get Trinian (very dim, very crazy girlkitty) to adapt to the presence of the boykitties.

IME boycats buddy up and adjust, especially if they are loveys.

Oh, yeah. My two boys have gotten quite close. They don't cuddle, but they'll lay side by side and Elliot will groom Tucker. Never the other way around, though. Despite being half Elliot's weight and a real chicken, Tucker knows he's got seniority. The younger cat must do the grooming.

With the dogs, it was interesting. I knew, from speaking with the foster mom and watching Pisces interact with the other dogs in the foster care that she'd be fine in our house. We have a really interesting dynamic: Mooshu started out as a total alpha and tried to be very dominant until I established myself as his alpha. Jasmine, as a puppy, was dominant to Mooshu, who by this point, was the mellowest dog on the planet (a characteristic of his breed) while Pisces and Jasmine take turns being dominant with each other, but Pisces is definitely submissive to Mooshu.

However, they all recognize me as their pack leader. Or as my sister says, "They're your shadows. Wherever you go, they follow."

Barb is doin' it right!

And Jilli is spot on. Rescue Remedy is an excellent resource and, while I've never used the Feliway plug ins, the pet store I do the doggy lama workshops in sells a good number of them. I hear good things. Covering those bases couldn't hurt, in any case.

Feliway didn't do goof for Devi-the-bitch. But she's hardcore. Really, I think all that will make her not try to beat up Loki is either him finally getting bigger and more aggressive than her or me moving in the next 6 months and totally freaking her out. Not looking forward to that, but maybe she'll chill. She's never been thrilled with being anything other than only and I respect that even if I differ.

Sara, I think Devi and our Byron were separated at birth.

Fwiw, our girl kitty Mia was the most affronted by little boy Seamus at first and would do nothing but growl and hiss at him for weeks. Now they groom each other and wrestle and play and snuggle. Byron wants nothingto do with either of them, though he tolerates their presence.

Barb is doin' it right!

Well, certainly at home it works. However, Jasmine is still a bit of a problem child in that she's a headstrong Lab puppy girl (even though she's nearly two). She's terrible on leash and when she sees new people (or even us if we've been away for anything longer than an hour), she's a complete spazz. The hard part is that 90% of the time, she's actually fairly mellow. It's the 10% which makes life interesting. But we'll get through it. She's the sweetest girl, just... a Lab.

Devi, as much as I adore her, is a case. She's my first cat and is bonded to me but she HATES I got other cat. As in, hates them,not me, luckily.