Thanks for the advice, Burrell. I've reported the abuse to her guidance counselor and to one of the asst. principals. She has talked to both of them, too. We've tried to get her to see the school social worker but it wasn't successful, she has some issues with men. The school psychologist just told her she couldn't dwell on the past as it "wasn't healthy", then called her mom to try to verify some of things. Mom talked a smooth like and the girl got in trouble when she got home for "talking to people and being a drama queen."

The county doesn't see verbal abuse as a reason to get involved. If the mom does anything physical, then they can do something. This mom has done so much damage to this poor kid. I'm just hoping she can get to graduation and then get out of here. We've talked about her trying to get help once she gets to college and is out of her mom's grasp (dad isn't any help as he just wants to keep the mom happy).

Guidance talked about the girl going to stay with someone for a bit; however, mom has said if she ever didn't come home she would report her to the police as a runaway. The mom also keeps saying she is going to have the girl emancipated and be done with her. She gets told she is a disappointment regularly. The mom has also started spending the girls college fund because the mom "needs things" and the daughter is "ungrateful and a disappointment."

One of the recent ones was the mom calling after school to tell the girl to come home because "she was bored and needed someone to yell at" (I heard the phone call). The mom is nuts. I know bi-polar runs in her family on both sides and that both the mom's parents committed suicide. The mom doesn't seek help, though. If a doctor says something she doesn't like, she just changed doctors.

I just get told to "be there for her" and to let them know if "things become serious." WHAT!? Things are serious and the system is broken and they aren't doing anything!

...you're not going to be the difference in whether she comes out of this or not. It is not under your control. It is not your responsibility even.

So quit pushing yourself to the edge physically and emotionally.

Because you're not helping her. And you're definitely hurting yourself.

Be there for her when it matters. Let the doctors and nurses do their job.

What Hec said.

Crumbs, Sean - really, it makes my head go boom just trying to imagine the emotional space you're in right now, and I totally understand why you're wanting to be there for her as much as you possibly can.

But.

You're not her partner any more, and actually I think that if you ARE there every moment she's lucid (as well as all the moments she isn't, which does nothing to help her and lots to shred you), then that's maybe sending the wrong message to both of you. If you aren't committing to being with her as her partner, then you don't want to lull her into thinking that's what you are.

There's a difference between being there for a friend and being there for a partner.

There's nothing wrong with taking a few days off, and letting yourself be centre-stage in your own life for a little. Whether it's to go to the pub, watch the telly, play computer games or just fall asleep into a pizza, you both need and deserve the chance to recharge your physical and emotional batteries. And to remind both of you that you are no longer a couple.

I mean, yes, God, be there for her, definitely - I'm not saying you should leave her in the lurch! But take care of yourself too, okay? Seriously.

What are her family doing to help her now?

I need her to come back, and I don't know if it's going to happen. I feel like it's not.

I don't begin to know what to say. If I prayed, I'd be praying for the pair of you.

How things are going to unfold - that's outside of your control. What you can control is your own actions, and you are doing everything that you can.

...

...

...

On an entirely different note, my class is currently studying a topic called Passport To The World. Last week we learned about Japan, and Taiki's mum and dad came in to answer our questions, show us objects and teach us things about their home country rReaffirming me in my belief that I REALLY would like Japan lots, and that Japanese is made of awesome). The previous week we learned about India, and Rashmeeta's mum came in and brought lots of pictures and objects from India. Before then it was Spain, and before that, Egypt.

This week? Jamaica. And our resident expert?

The lovely ita.

Yesterday my kids brainstormed some questions (they knew quite a lot about Japan and about India and a little about Spain already, and a fair bit about Egypt [although mostly Ancient Egypt], but Jamaica? Not so much). And I emailed ita with said questions (albeit I'd weeded out the MOST readily answered ones, that we'd managed to answer in the lesson from looking at maps etc). She wrote back today, and so I printed it out and showed the kids a fairly ferocious picture of ita in full Krav mode (albeit with a MsBelle-esque touch of pink), and then read them her answers. She was like Yoda!

The kids were particularly fascinated to hear that the national bird of Jamaica is the Doctor Bird. There was much speculation (some quite grisly) as to why it has such a name. They wrote a letter to say thank you, which I've duly scribed and sent.

Buffista Academy In Action, ladies and gentlemen!

serial

Good grief, GG! That poor, poor kid.

OMG, Fay, as a teacher, you are totally made of awesome.

As is GG

And Kristin

And all the other fabulous educators in our midst.

And should I be shaking my head that Abby's class has been playing the Stock Market Game the last week? Using fictional characters and businesses as their platform. This morning she was going on about what a huge mistake it was for Willie Wonka to have taken the chocolate factory public because he's just going to lose his money and the factory will have to shut down.

This was prior to my first cup of coffee.

Sean, GG, I have no words. Horrible situations. Sean, please listen to the Buffistas and take some time off.

GG... isn't there anything someone can do? At all?

Fay - if Israel will ever be the subject of your class, I'll be more than happy to help you with it.

GG, that poor kid's mother just made my special list. It's the one I'll need a good alibi and a great lawyer for dealing with, but I would cheerfully swing for, if I manage to get everyone on it.

Fay - if Israel will ever be the subject of your class, I'll be more than happy to help you with it.

I can do Australia, if it comes up.

Sean, there has been wise words, I hope it helps. I'm vibing hard for the both of you.

Gadget Girl, if you were in Georgia I would wonder if you were talking about my sort of blood relatives (who(m) I do NOT consider 'family'). eta Which is to say yikes! I'm glad you're there for them, even if you can't fix it for them.

Sean, do take care of yourself - your exhausting yourself to be with S. won't do anything for her and will hurt you. Take some time, eat something healthy and/or yummy, maybe just sit in the sun for a little while.

GG, I feel for your students. I would, however, advise caution in helping them. It sounds like you're in a place where children are still largely regarded as their parents' property; interfering - even if it's to help the child - could cause problems if they took it amiss. If there isn't anyone else to take the verbal abuse seriously, offer the kid sympathy and emotional support. Just make sure you don't do anything that the whacko mother might see as trying to take away her chew toy.

Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Woken up this morning by the headache from hell.

Ow.