So, I skipped a bunch, but saw that some people were asking how I'm doing, and by extension how S is doing. I'm mostly holding up. I've been quite busy with work, and when I'm not working, I'm trying to spend as much time as I can visiting S in the hospital.
Yes, she's still in the hospital.
She was transfered to a different hospital -- the one where she's on the transplant list.
She's off the ventilator, off the feeding tube and eating solid food, off both her waste catheters (though not able to go to the bathroom on her own, and thus using basically a diaper), and most of the time, she's not connected to an IV drip.
However, she still has a blood infection that's pretty serious, and a urine infection (less serious). They're giving her daily antibiotics to fight the blood infection, though apparently it's a bug that's pretty resilient. Because of these infections, she's been temporarily placed on hold for a transplant until the infections are cleared up. However, if they do get it cleared up, she's moved quite high up the list -- her score jumped quite a bit during this hospital stay.
Unfortunately, that also means she's still very delirious, and hallucinating most of the time.
I've sat at her bedside while she was basically bleeding to death, and that's nothing compared to sitting here watching her be out of her ever loving mind.
She's constantly obsessed with time, though she's lost all ability to understand it. She constantly thinks things of all sorts are going to be happening "in ten seconds." she's also frequently concerned about large objects (or sometimes trains) that are going to come crashing through the room (usually in ten seconds).
She's constantly talking to people who aren't there, and otherwise living in a whole other world. It's distressing and terrifying.
I'm grappling with a lot of issues, and very lonely much of the time, but I'm trying to take care of myself as best I can, and when I can't do that, I at least have work to focus on.
And I feel like I'm going to be single forever.