Actually the lamest excuses are sometimes the most believable.

And at first my brain objected and corrected "too good" to " so well, " but I got over it and started thinking that is just ambiguous enough to work.

Seldom eschew disambiguation when sending regrets.

I feel one of the hidden advantages of coupledom is to be able to back out of stuff because of the real (or even made-up) illness of your partner.

t not here

Hi everyone! I'm in the middle of the Caribbean Ocean, which is good. Not so good is the STUPIDLY expensive internet ($.37/minute!!!), so I've threadsucked and read a bit, but don't have time to stick around to chat. I decided to stay the second week with Drew, so we'll be back around the 17th/18th or so depending on a few factors that I can't go into right now. I went scuba diving for the first time today and am HOOKED. I'm thinking about getting certified next week for reals since this was just a shallow beginning dive.

Lots going on--I imagine Drew will pop in at some point and talk about all of that--but I just wanted you all to know that even in pretty, tropical waters, I miss you all.

Smooches!

t really not here

I'm a little late (maybe) on the whole introvert/extro vert thing.

I've said occiasionally that I'm an extrovert trapped inside an introvert's body. If that makes sense? Actually I'm an extrovert trapped under a huge freaking pile of insecurities and self esteem issues (and mental health issues) piled on top of being treated really shabbily through the years and being scarred by that. Oh and someone who didn't learn good social skills.

But I'm going to start working on that. But really I love talking to people and chatting but I get frozen up by my issues. But I don't have that problem in Second Life.

Whoo! Congrats to Daniel!!

Also yesterday and today I got two kick ass compliments on how I handled people in person and a phone call at work. One from the second in command guy.

I've been thinking about this conversation all afternoon. I can't imagine buffistas ever groping anyone who didn't want it. We are a pretty respectful bunch, I think. So, no Tailhook associations from me.

That said, I think being around lots of others groping, consensual or not, would not be my thing. Part of that is just me but I know that part of it comes from hormone cocktail that comes along with breastfeeding. I hadn't really thought about it much until I now. Anyway, probably more than anyone cares but I didn't want to leave you all with the impression that I was crabby about consensual fun.

Crap, I spent some time writing this all up and then accidently lost it all. here goes brain dump replay.

Went to the doctor today for my diabetic recheck.

My hemoglobin A1c is up a full point. (For the non-diabetically informed, it's a test to measure the artifacts left in your blood from having too high of glucose, they stay in the body about 90 days)

I let the doctor know that I had a stretch about 3 months ago where my glucose was testing very high and that I reacted by aggressively going after it. I also mentioned that that's why she got a request to bump up my dosages of insulin a couple of months ago. She let me off with a warning and I have to see her again in three months.

I also am being referred to the hospital for a sleep study, apparently my mention of apnea symptoms are worth checking out.

She's also learned that she can only make a proforma request for me to consider gastric bypass. Not going to happen unless they make it less dangerous and reversible, sorry.

Meanwhile we were talking about the fact that they like to keep the long term insulin in a balance with the short term and I've been working the short term up a lot. I suggested that I could take a second shot of the long term 12 hours off from the other one, to balance it out better through the day. "Actually, that's the latest treatment suggestion we've been getting. You have been reading up." Actually, I haven't lately, but it just makes sense to spread out something that has a long-term effect to smooth out the bumps. I did not mention this.

She also was pleased at my ability to rid myself of my dry, cracked heels and other foot issues. I took special pleasure in mentioning that it was due to Windsparrow's homemade salve. I offered to bring a list of ingredients next visit.

BP was high when I first got there, but that was immediately after I had been poked several times by three different phlebotomy techs. After the visit they took it again, it was around 120/80 or so. Much better.

At the end of the appointment she told me she that it's nice talking to me when I visit because I'm so well informed. "Well I try..."

Heh.

I've been to three F2Fs, and I've got very definite boundaries, and I've had exactly two times that something felt uncomfortable. (One was when someone I didn't recognize came up to me with a big smile and a "Hi Hil!" and a hug, and while it was all very friendly, a hug from someone I couldn't place was disconcerting. But then I figured out who it was. The other was when someone standing behind me put his hands on my shoulders, which has always freaked me out -- being able to feel somebody without seeing them just sends me into "Flee!" mode.)

And one thing I appreciated about the Prom spaces in both DC and New Orleans was that both of them had an outside and an inside space, so when stuff was getting too intense inside, there were people hanging around and talking outside to go join.

Daniel, doctors *love* patients like you. Or they damn well should.

She's also learned that she can only make a proforma request for me to consider gastric bypass. Not going to happen unless they make it less dangerous and reversible, sorry.

"Learned"....from you, you mean?

My primary-care doctor is the only doctor I have who doesn't mention my weight unless I ask about it. So when my back was killing me 2 weeks ago and I made a same-day appointment, I took whoever was available, and it was the nurse practitioner, not my regular amazing doctor.

I think the NP is *very* good, but she made a point to tell me that my back wouldn't hurt if I lost weight. I told her that my surgeon disagrees and said that no one can say exactly why 2 discs herniated. She took it in stride, but it still pissed me off.

Because, what does she say to all the people who are "normal" weight who come in with complaints of back pain? What does she say to the underweight people?

That shit does NOT fly with my fat ass.

Anyway, back to my question -- do you mean she suggested gastric bypass and you said "No thank you doc; next topic"?

My very quick comment regarding F2F.

It's intense.

No other qualifiers, because I think that applies in a variety of ways, mostly good, to the whole experience.

And I'll repeat what I said after returning from SF2F; I believe it is a life-affirming experience.

Lastly, I consider myself introverted with people I don't know, middle-of-the-road with people I do, and completely unruly with people I know well and trust.

The customer I bitched about earlier today called a higher up to bitch about me. Fortunately, I work chats so there was a transcript of the whole interaction. So my supervisor's supervisor and supervisor to the third power looked over the transcript, and supervisor to the second power came to see me. As soon as S2 said, "So, you had a difficult customer this morning," I said, "I knew that one was going to bite me in the butt."

"He was very rude to you, wasn't he. I thought you handled that very professionally, except for one part."
I'd gotten a little snarky back, but fortunately my snark looks very polite in print. Still . . . "Yeah, I could have phrased that better, and I should have apologized when he calle me on it. But he wasn't giving me any leeway."
"We have 51 incidents on file with him where he hasn't been happy with us. You did good."

Makes you wish you could fire a customer.