Crap, I spent some time writing this all up and then accidently lost it all. here goes brain dump replay.

Went to the doctor today for my diabetic recheck.

My hemoglobin A1c is up a full point. (For the non-diabetically informed, it's a test to measure the artifacts left in your blood from having too high of glucose, they stay in the body about 90 days)

I let the doctor know that I had a stretch about 3 months ago where my glucose was testing very high and that I reacted by aggressively going after it. I also mentioned that that's why she got a request to bump up my dosages of insulin a couple of months ago. She let me off with a warning and I have to see her again in three months.

I also am being referred to the hospital for a sleep study, apparently my mention of apnea symptoms are worth checking out.

She's also learned that she can only make a proforma request for me to consider gastric bypass. Not going to happen unless they make it less dangerous and reversible, sorry.

Meanwhile we were talking about the fact that they like to keep the long term insulin in a balance with the short term and I've been working the short term up a lot. I suggested that I could take a second shot of the long term 12 hours off from the other one, to balance it out better through the day. "Actually, that's the latest treatment suggestion we've been getting. You have been reading up." Actually, I haven't lately, but it just makes sense to spread out something that has a long-term effect to smooth out the bumps. I did not mention this.

She also was pleased at my ability to rid myself of my dry, cracked heels and other foot issues. I took special pleasure in mentioning that it was due to Windsparrow's homemade salve. I offered to bring a list of ingredients next visit.

BP was high when I first got there, but that was immediately after I had been poked several times by three different phlebotomy techs. After the visit they took it again, it was around 120/80 or so. Much better.

At the end of the appointment she told me she that it's nice talking to me when I visit because I'm so well informed. "Well I try..."

Heh.

I've been to three F2Fs, and I've got very definite boundaries, and I've had exactly two times that something felt uncomfortable. (One was when someone I didn't recognize came up to me with a big smile and a "Hi Hil!" and a hug, and while it was all very friendly, a hug from someone I couldn't place was disconcerting. But then I figured out who it was. The other was when someone standing behind me put his hands on my shoulders, which has always freaked me out -- being able to feel somebody without seeing them just sends me into "Flee!" mode.)

And one thing I appreciated about the Prom spaces in both DC and New Orleans was that both of them had an outside and an inside space, so when stuff was getting too intense inside, there were people hanging around and talking outside to go join.

Daniel, doctors *love* patients like you. Or they damn well should.

She's also learned that she can only make a proforma request for me to consider gastric bypass. Not going to happen unless they make it less dangerous and reversible, sorry.

"Learned"....from you, you mean?

My primary-care doctor is the only doctor I have who doesn't mention my weight unless I ask about it. So when my back was killing me 2 weeks ago and I made a same-day appointment, I took whoever was available, and it was the nurse practitioner, not my regular amazing doctor.

I think the NP is *very* good, but she made a point to tell me that my back wouldn't hurt if I lost weight. I told her that my surgeon disagrees and said that no one can say exactly why 2 discs herniated. She took it in stride, but it still pissed me off.

Because, what does she say to all the people who are "normal" weight who come in with complaints of back pain? What does she say to the underweight people?

That shit does NOT fly with my fat ass.

Anyway, back to my question -- do you mean she suggested gastric bypass and you said "No thank you doc; next topic"?

My very quick comment regarding F2F.

It's intense.

No other qualifiers, because I think that applies in a variety of ways, mostly good, to the whole experience.

And I'll repeat what I said after returning from SF2F; I believe it is a life-affirming experience.

Lastly, I consider myself introverted with people I don't know, middle-of-the-road with people I do, and completely unruly with people I know well and trust.

The customer I bitched about earlier today called a higher up to bitch about me. Fortunately, I work chats so there was a transcript of the whole interaction. So my supervisor's supervisor and supervisor to the third power looked over the transcript, and supervisor to the second power came to see me. As soon as S2 said, "So, you had a difficult customer this morning," I said, "I knew that one was going to bite me in the butt."

"He was very rude to you, wasn't he. I thought you handled that very professionally, except for one part."
I'd gotten a little snarky back, but fortunately my snark looks very polite in print. Still . . . "Yeah, I could have phrased that better, and I should have apologized when he calle me on it. But he wasn't giving me any leeway."
"We have 51 incidents on file with him where he hasn't been happy with us. You did good."

Makes you wish you could fire a customer.

My primary-care doctor is the only doctor I have who doesn't mention my weight unless I ask about it.

My primary-care has three chins, so he knows better than to bring up weight. I also don't try to pretend that weight is not a problem.

My point of adamant refusal is that I'm not going on insulin. I could take better care of myself, definitely, and Doc has said, "We're running out of drugs that don't come in needles, Connie, unless you pick up the slack on your end." Fortunately he doesn't push it anymore. He's a good one, Dr. Olsen.

I have a physical in the fall which I am dreading because of the weight thing. I love my doctor and he has been so great with my depression issues, and especially not mentioning my weight since the depression issues, but when I was 23 and had my first physical I weighed around 150 and wore a size 8/10 and he though I should "nip my weight in the bud". At the height of my depression, I weighed >130 and wore a 4, and now that I am happier I am now oer 200 pounds. And frankly, I eat much better than I did at 150. To maintain the 130, I a) worked 2 physically demanding jobs, walked 3 miles back and forth to work AND rode an exercise bicycle for 30 minute a day, as well as eating no "white" foods, 5 servings of vegetables, 5 of fruit, and pretty much only tuna fish with no dressing. I never want to do that again, although I should exercise more. But I hate it.

Jess and Ethan just dropped Dylan off with me.

He's contentedly munching on string cheese and blueberries and exploring al the new toys.

Jessica looked superpretty going to the wedding, with her hair extra blue and tats shown off and a flowing scarf.

Jess and Ethan just dropped Dylan off with me.

"Party at uncle Hec's place!" We're gonna need some pix...

Oh, my. Pictures of Ethan and Matilda together would be extra lethally cute.