I have told them that we'll let them know when we figure out what we're going to do, but now I'm getting weekly e-mails. And of course no one is bugging TCG, so he doesn't understand why I'm getting so upset.

OK, this is a fun one! When they ask say "why don't you ask HIM!!!" and burst into tears/forward him the email.

Fun in a slightly evil way, but fun.

t HAPPY BIRTHDAY'S Scrappy

t burns sage and stuff to de-Ted McGinley Meara

Um... writing down all your symptoms, feelings, stresses, etc. before going to see the doc is a great thing. One of the times I went to the GP for depression, I just sat there dumbstruck with tears welling in my eyes when he asked what I had come in for. Wisely, he asked, "Depression?" I nodded and handed him my List. He went over it, said, "Wow," and got to business.

Alternatively, printing off a self assessment such as this one: [link] and filling it in is another great way to start the conversation with your doctor.

::sigh::

So my mother went with my father to the family lawyer today so dear daddy could file for divorce from his current wife. Yanno, the one with whom he cheated on my mom thirty years ago while THEY were married and then subsequently married after he and Mom's incredibly bitter divorce?

She said to Maria (my sister), "I do wish your sister would be more understanding about this. I wish she could be happy for me."

And she mentioned that she thought it would make a good story for me to write.

Dude, I don't write science fiction.

It's a pity you're not Cuban, meara

Heh. If I was Cuban, would I get to eat tostones more often? My mom made them and flan for me when I was growing up, but not often enough...

S/he can probably prescribe some drugs (some will, some won't, and some will write scrips for things you've taken before but not other things, and all can refer to a psychiatrist

Mmkay. Have not done the drugs before, but sounds like when I get back to town will call my GP. And look up the plan (sadly, the current insurance plan is kinda ASS). Is the cheap AD one that makes you gain weight? Or makes you anti-sex? I am v. anti both of those things. But very pro the idea of "if I lose my insurance because I lose my job and need drugs EVEN MORE, I could still afford them"

Barb, your parents make my head spin. Damn!

meara, if you *didn't* feel like you were falling apart, I'd worry about you. The past couple of years have been VERY roller-coaster-y for you.

I second (third, fourth, etc.) everyone's suggestion of going to your GP first, as long as you like your GP. The fucking ironic pisser about mental health care is that, when you truly need it, it feels like scaling Everest just to get an appointment set up.

ION (and I don't mean to be all me me me), I just got my picture taken for the billboard. Everyone was nice and helpful and the photographer kept telling me I looked fantastic and was posing like a pro. We did the shots outside, because the evening light was lovely. I wore a blue v-neck sweater that all y'all have probably seen on me (or, at least, seen me wear in pictures) a million times before, and the hair/makeup woman blew my hair out straight, which looks good but SO WEIRD to me, since I'm used to letting it go curly. Makeup was more or less what I normally wear, with the addition of some taupe-y eyeshadow and some lipstick.

They're going to e-mail me some of the pictures in the next couple of weeks, so I can post them then. And when my big giant head is up on a billboard, I'll *obviously* take pictures of that, too! (And, of course, post them.)

(And, okay, I took one picture of me with my own camera, doing the hold-camera-at-arm's-length trick: [link] I *swear* that I didn't do any Photoshop-fu, other than getting rid of the double-chin that inevitably results when I do the hold-camera-at-arm's-length trick [i.e., when I say I didn't do any Photoshop-fu, the color -- including my eyes (which, WOW) -- is straight out of the camera].)

Rowr, Tep--That is seriously, I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille territory.

And yes, my parents are absolutely fucked. And no doubt, fucking by this point. Who knows? I know I don't want to.

Is the cheap AD one that makes you gain weight? Or makes you anti-sex? I am v. anti both of those things.

You're not going to know that ahead of time, unfortunately. Personally I'm a lot less interested in sex without the meds, so that street doesn't only go one way. Thank god.

Billboard!Tep is fucking hot.

Is the cheap AD one that makes you gain weight? Or makes you anti-sex?

Not all ADs affect all people the same way. Having been down that pit of hell myself, I firmly believe the most important thing is to start feeling better ASAP. Which is where the drugs come in. Once the drugs have you feeling like you can benefit from talky therapy, then ideally you wouldn't have to take the ADs forever and ever.

Which is not to say you can just take them for a couple of weeks and BAM!, instant happy! But you know that. I feel like, the drugs get you to where you can cope with stuff, and learn from therapy. And what you learn *can* keep you in a place where you might not need the ADs. I stopped mine after 4 years on Zoloft, because my therapy helped me so much. (And I don't mean that I'm all sane and shit, and able to cope with every situation, because I'm not sane and I *can't* cope with every situation. But I can cope with *most,* which I think is pretty fucking good.)

Anyway. Shorter version of what I just babbled about: don't worry about weight gain or potentially decreased sex drive -- *if* the drugs lead to either side effect, (1) you might not be on the drugs for a long time anyway, and/or (2) you could switch drugs. Lots of people do.

The most important thing is to help you, and I think that Step 1 is drugs.