( continues...) -- ISN'T ACTUALLY GODDAMN FUNNY, when she's spent my whole life telling me that I'm *not* attractive.

I think she's really bothered by me being on the stupid billboard. She's 62, and lovely for 62 -- doesn't really look her age, still -- but she's feeling her age, I guess. She's not the prettiest one in the room anymore. That's still no reason to insult me and pass it off as a joke. I guess that's the danger of being truly beautiful -- it sucks ass when you lose it. Which is not something I'll ever have to worry about, so I've got that going for me.

And nope, there's no point in telling her all that. If I thought it would do any good, I would. But she never changes. She's great as long as no one upstages her. And I am. So she pokes.

Hi. Welcome to my brain. I should just cut all this and put it in my LJ to spare all y'all.

Fresh & Easy is an evil temptress. I went in for five items and came out with food for the next 7-10 days. OK maybe that's a good thing. I think I'll open the cava first.

ugh Steph that sucks. Sorry my lighthearted foodie post came after your venting. I have trotted out my wedding album (from my failed marriage) before because I'm proud of the dress my bff made for me and I don't mind letting people laugh at my silly haircut and I like to show off my friends in all their finery but I see now how that might make current loves feel uncomfortable. Thanks for the reality check.

try shopping AFTER eating.

{{{{{{Teppy}}}}}}

I'm sorry I have no words for you.

try shopping AFTER eating.

I did have a big breakfast but... have you been to Fresh & Easy?

Oh, goodness, Steph. That's a lot of ick in 24 hours! My brain would be doing even worse with all that.

Teppy--I can see how the wedding album might make you feel horrible, but in this case I really feel it isn't about you. After all, what was he doing? He was talking about marriage and what it means with you. Yeah, he dopily used his own previous marriage to do so, but that's still what he was doing. The actor Sam Anderson married J and his Ex, so I heard about the wedding and how cool he was every damn time Anderson was onscreen in Angel. And it bugged. But you and I are the ones our guys are with NOW. To negate that is to negate their growth and their choices and their desires.

Also,it sounds like you really have your mom's number. I am sure it desen't make it hurt less, but I really admire you for your perspective.

I see now how that might make current loves feel uncomfortable. Thanks for the reality check.

I think that if my mom hadn't ALSO called me ugly last night, I wouldn't be feeling so....perpetually lacking, I guess, today. And maybe looking at The Boy's wedding album wouldn't have bothered me. I feel pretty secure about our relationship, but -- it was just the wrong time to show me the whole thing, you know?

I know he was married before, I know he *still* feels enormous -- and I mean like the Pacific goddamn Ocean -- guilt about "failing" the marriage. I know he thinks that breaking his marriage vows was never going to happen, and when it did, everything went topsy-turvy and so how can you count on anything?

I get all that. I'm supporto-gal.

But do I have to see *all* of it? He's not subtle enough to be trying to send me a message by showing me the album -- he deals in single entendres and un-encoded messages, which is a joy to me. Seriously. So I know he's not hinting that I should pack up and move out.

But it still stings on the heels of being called ugly, IN FRONT OF MY BOYFRIEND, by my mom.

Some days I honestly can't believe she *didn't* eat her young.