Sure. Hang on one sec.

ION, I'm already done with the storage area. I'm sure there are a few boxes I should go through, but I wasn't planning on dealing with them on this round anyways. Turns out I had just a lot of crap piled on top of each other, and mostly everything got trashed, or went in a Freecycle/Craigslists pile. I will list all of that stuff tomorrow. So, yay! That wasn't so bad.

Dear Plei and/or Jilli-

When told to "get ready to go" somewhere on Friday night, my darling daughter decided that that meant applying mascara. As getting into make-up is a pretty typical thing for littles to do, normally I wouldn't worry.

However.

The fact that she put it on so well - including her lower lashes - and without smudges, I can only assume that you have been sneaking into our home and giving her make-up tips.

Because Lord knows *I* can't apply it without smudging it.

Yours truly -
Aims

BWAHAHAHAHA! Maybe she's born with it. If it's Maybelline.

Mine keeps insisting she needs the epilator. And lipstick. She broke into my purse to get to the latter.

Oh yeah - she LOVES lipstick. She has quite the collection of Bonne Bell and Chapsticks. Which she keeps in her ballet tutu dress purse. Which she carries while wearing my heels. I should post that picture.

I have ventured out into the world. The sun is big, the sun is bright : clap clap clap : deep in the heart of Texas! I am at an inspector station having my lil Prius inspected, detected, and hopefully not rejected. This place offers free car wash with inspection, so at least Midori will be clean when I head to the registration office.

Oh yeah - she LOVES lipstick. She has quite the collection of Bonne Bell and Chapsticks. Which she keeps in her ballet tutu dress purse. Which she carries while wearing my heels. I should post that picture.

SNORT

My kid knows better than to go attempting to tromp around in my heels. She watched me packing for one of my conferences and wistfully said to the Hub, "Mommy's never going to let me wear any of her high heels, is she?"

"You have a better shot at getting a date with one of the Sprouse brothers."

And thanks for the additional birthday wishes, y'all-- I'm waiting on the Hub to get home with dinner, which is apparently a big surprise. All I got were three choices:

"Do you want not bad, moderately bad, or evil?"

"It's my birthday-- go for it."

"No, seriously, I know you've been depressed about that weight you've gained-- do you want a shot at losing some of it soon?"

"Dude, I'm going to lose the weight-- we'll call this my last hurrah."

"Okay then."

I'm betting on something Mexican. I'm hoping. La Nopalera is wicked good.

Man, I just got an order from drugstore.com delivered -- with the box entirely OPEN and the tape ripped off. And by "delivered," I actually mean that I walked up to the front of the office and saw the box sitting at the farthest end of the counter in the lobby, which I assume means the delivery person dropped it and ran. Because I asked the people who work up front (we don't actually have a receptionist, since the only people who come to the office are UPS and FedEx delivery people) if they saw who delivered it, because I wanted to complain to the proper company -- USPS or UPS. Nobody up front saw anything.

The cherry on top of my open box? One of the items was missing. And it was (of course) the one item I needed; the others were just things I ordered since I happened to be placing an order.

I ordered a vat o' ibuprofen, generic claritin, and Max Factor Volume Couture waterproof mascara. I had to order the mascara online because it's not available in any stores near me except The Wal-Marts, and I would rather have naked lashes forever than shop there.

So you know which one was missing from the order, right?

God damn it. Why can't thieves steal the drugs, like they're supposed to?

I called drugstore.com, mostly because I wanted to register a complaint at their choice of delivery service, and also because I needed to find out from them which delivery service it was (it wasn't clear from the box, believe it or not, whether it was UPS or USPS). Because I intend to complain loudly to the Post Office (that's who it turned out to be) as well. I mean, seriously -- they deliver boxes that have been obviously ripped open?

But drugstore.com was really nice and is sending me a replacement mascara. However, they're sending it 3-day mail. which means won't get it for another week. My current mascara is clumpy and old, man. My first-world lash-tint problems are KILLING me.

God damn it. Why can't thieves steal the drugs, like they're supposed to?

Guess the thief didn't want to shop at Wally World either.