I get confused. I remember everything. I remember too much, and... some of it's made up, and... some of it can't be quantified, and... there's secrets.

River ,'Safe'


Spike's Bitches 42: Which question do you want me to answer first?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


NoiseDesign - Aug 17, 2008 6:54:57 am PDT #2048 of 10001
Our wings are not tired

It would be nice to get a little respite from all of this. I'm dealing fairly well so far, my big concern is that I don't really have much in a way of any days off until December, so I'm going to have to be very careful to make sure I'm getting enough sleep while I'm running back and forth to San Diego and keeping my business running. Fall is the busiest time of year for me, and this year is no exception.


Sean K - Aug 17, 2008 7:02:22 am PDT #2049 of 10001
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

Drew, I've been thinking about you quite a bit over the last couple of days. I know you're going to need to rely on me a lot for a lot of things over the next couple of weeks, so I've been trying to prepare for that as best as I can. And you know, anything and everything I can do to help, just let me know.


Sean K - Aug 17, 2008 7:05:42 am PDT #2050 of 10001
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

And Kristin, I just sent you a text message, but if I can, I'm happy to come get you at the airport tomorrow.

I'm working in Pasadena for about 4 to 6 hours tomorrow, from about 9 or 10, but let me know, and I'll do my best to make arrangements, or whatever needs to happen.


NoiseDesign - Aug 17, 2008 7:12:31 am PDT #2051 of 10001
Our wings are not tired

Sean, thank you.

I'll give you a call in a little bit about Beverly Hills and some other items. Hopefully both of us can keep busy over the next couple of months and keep our minds off of other worries here and again.


Steph L. - Aug 17, 2008 7:27:11 am PDT #2052 of 10001
I look more rad than Lutheranism

I know she wants to come home, but I don't think that's the best place for her. Alas, I'm the only person in the family who has this opinion. I think she needs to be somewhere that we can have skilled care for her. Everyone else in the family associates anything like that horrible treatment, akin to throwing her into a jail cell.

Oh, Drew. I hope you can present the idea of a skilled care facility as part of your mom's treatment/recovery; as in, she'll get far better, far more consistent care there than she will at home, which will help her to recover more quickly and completely.

Your family is going to disagree, and when they do, point out that her severe fracture was because her at-home caregiver dropped her. It's not incompetence on the caregiver's part; these things happen, even in a hopsital. But in skilled-care facility, there is more than one caregiver available if the need arises, and that wouldn't be the case if your mom goes straight home.

You know all this; I'm not trying to tell you your business. I just hate so much that you and your family have been going through such unrelenting shit for so long. And I just want to help, and the only way I can is by throwing out obvious advice.

The last (obvious) thing I'll say is this: would having a doctor tell your family that your mom needs to be in a skilled-care facility help you make your case to them? Or are they the kind of people who would react with "Of COURSE a doctor would say that!" and pooh-pooh it because they think the medical establishment is shifty?

(I only ask because about half my family doesn't trust doctors, and so they'll *literally* do the exact opposite of what a medical professional recommends. It's led to some grim outcomes.)

If your family would listen to a doctor's advice, get your mom's doctor to sit down with your family, or at least a couple of them, and have the doctor stress how crucial it is for your mom to be in a skilled-care facility in order for her to recover properly and quickly.

I'm done dispensing the advice that you undoubtedly already know. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts, Drew.


Laga - Aug 17, 2008 7:29:48 am PDT #2053 of 10001
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.

{{{Drew}}} {{{Kristin}}}

Popcorn is palomitas. It also means little doves but I have had more than one spanish speaker order palomitas from me.


Typo Boy - Aug 17, 2008 7:30:46 am PDT #2054 of 10001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

Drew, Kristen the universe needs to back off from you and your family for a bit.


NoiseDesign - Aug 17, 2008 7:38:48 am PDT #2055 of 10001
Our wings are not tired

would having a doctor tell your family that your mom needs to be in a skilled-care facility help you make your case to them? Or are they the kind of people who would react with "Of COURSE a doctor would say that!" and pooh-pooh it because they think the medical establishment is shifty?

The recommendation has already come from the doctor for at least 6 weeks of skilled nursing care. Dad was a doctor and mom was an RN so they do respect doctors. However Mom is also of an age where nursing home were horrible places and she's been very steadfast in her opinion that she doesn't want to end up in one. My sister is prone to hyperbole and for her it's extremes. One option is take care of her at home, the other is a nursing home where she is abandoned and people visit her once every ten years. I've been slowly getting her around to the idea that these things are a continuum and that a skilled care facility does not equal abandonment and in many way would make it easier for both of us to have time with her. We'll see. I also worry that if mom goes into any kind of home she'll give up trying even more than she has already. It's a lot of very tough options.


Scrappy - Aug 17, 2008 7:42:38 am PDT #2056 of 10001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Drew and Kristin--I wish you all kinds of serenity and support. I truly admire the strength and maturity you are using to deal with this and hope that things get easier soon.


Steph L. - Aug 17, 2008 7:46:25 am PDT #2057 of 10001
I look more rad than Lutheranism

I've been slowly getting her around to the idea that these things are a continuum and that a skilled care facility does not equal abandonment and in many way would make it easier for both of us to have time with her.

I think that a lot of people still associate skilled-care facilities with "Nursing home; people go there to be abandoned and die." A lot of people, I think, don't even know that there's a world of difference between facilities where the purpose is skilled care and rehab, versus "retirement communities," where elderly people live until they die because they can no longer live independently.

I hope your mom can let go of her black-and-white thinking and realize that this would just be an interim step as part of her recovery.

We'll see. I also worry that if mom goes into any kind of home she'll give up trying even more than she has already. It's a lot of very tough options.

I can see that, too. I know this is a hard, hard place for you to be.