would having a doctor tell your family that your mom needs to be in a skilled-care facility help you make your case to them? Or are they the kind of people who would react with "Of COURSE a doctor would say that!" and pooh-pooh it because they think the medical establishment is shifty?

The recommendation has already come from the doctor for at least 6 weeks of skilled nursing care. Dad was a doctor and mom was an RN so they do respect doctors. However Mom is also of an age where nursing home were horrible places and she's been very steadfast in her opinion that she doesn't want to end up in one. My sister is prone to hyperbole and for her it's extremes. One option is take care of her at home, the other is a nursing home where she is abandoned and people visit her once every ten years. I've been slowly getting her around to the idea that these things are a continuum and that a skilled care facility does not equal abandonment and in many way would make it easier for both of us to have time with her. We'll see. I also worry that if mom goes into any kind of home she'll give up trying even more than she has already. It's a lot of very tough options.

Drew and Kristin--I wish you all kinds of serenity and support. I truly admire the strength and maturity you are using to deal with this and hope that things get easier soon.

I've been slowly getting her around to the idea that these things are a continuum and that a skilled care facility does not equal abandonment and in many way would make it easier for both of us to have time with her.

I think that a lot of people still associate skilled-care facilities with "Nursing home; people go there to be abandoned and die." A lot of people, I think, don't even know that there's a world of difference between facilities where the purpose is skilled care and rehab, versus "retirement communities," where elderly people live until they die because they can no longer live independently.

I hope your mom can let go of her black-and-white thinking and realize that this would just be an interim step as part of her recovery.

We'll see. I also worry that if mom goes into any kind of home she'll give up trying even more than she has already. It's a lot of very tough options.

I can see that, too. I know this is a hard, hard place for you to be.

continued ~ma for you and your family Drew. You are very much in my thoughts. There has been much wise words upthread, and it seems you know whats going on, so just know we are here for you.

Pix, get some rest. Enjoy your time in Miami. It's supposed to be a happening place. And much travel~ma for you.

{{{{{{{{{{ Pix & ND }}}}}}}}}}

I will wave hello while I'm at DFW later today o_a. I'm only there for about 90 minutes, so it's not really enough time to see each other.

:: kermit waves :: in advance, as I'll be busy with musical stuff.

I've reached my productivity block. I can't concentrate on anything. Me thinks it's time for a break and a change of scenery. Coffee at Panera sounds about perfect.

I think I need to mainline some crack, coffee just isn't going to cut it today.

You all rock. I'm so grateful for the consistent, thoughtful support you have given us this year. I know we've said it many times, but thank you.

I just woke up from a three hour nap (a three hour nap t /gilligan ) and am feeling much more human.

Sean, it sounds like you may be working tomorrow when I get in, so no worries. I'm going to send out a local email to see if anyone is free.

Do they still sell Jolt Cola?

((((ND, Kristin, and family)))) I don't know what I can add to what everyone else has said.