MM & Empress, did I miss the result of the new carness?

Still waiting for more news. We do not qualify for Brand New Car (tm - price is right), but we can do a ceritifed pre-owned or whatever. I also got a new price on fixing Violet, so we're trying to decide what to do. Either way, I leave for Minneapolis tonight, so it'll have have to wait til I get back anyway.

ah ... sorry for the layoff Tom; but there's bound to be another, possibly better, job just waiting for you.

Sorry for the publishing screw-up, Barb. I like Deena's suggestion. Alternatively - unless the publisher IS messing with your head and/or has evil intentions - maybe send in one of the earlier versions, before the editors got hold of it?

ChiKat - LOVE the hair!

In mememe news, I went out to dinner with a friend last night (it's Restaurant Week) and had a lovely dinner with the BEST tiramisu I've ever had. I have a mild food hangover ... but it was worth it!

I've been a wimp. I seem to be in a flare-up. I can't quite walk across a room without holding on to a wall.

Oh, Deena- this is not being a wimp. You are incredibly courageous by even dealing with this horrible pain.

God, Barb! Fuck 'em in the ear. I'm so sorry- about the book and about how the situation is messing with your own perceptions of yourself. {{hugs you}}

Oh, Deena! Poor you! Hang in there, girl, and let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Wow. Barb, that's just maddening. Really, really maddening. I just. Wow. Also, can I ask, do you include any Spanglish or Spanish in your writing? My thesis buddy wrote her thesis on that, and I'd love to tell her about another writer. Also, could you e-mail me your full name. I really want to get one of your books to read.

So, last night was interesting. My parents have been traveling, and they left their car with me. Their flight was getting in after midnight, so we decided it would be easiest for me to take the car and park it at the airport for them. So, I did so. CBD picked me up at the airport, and we came home. I got him some dinner, we watched some Olympics, and I decided I just wanted to go to bed. I was exhausted. So, I took my meds and crawled into bed. A few minutes later, CBD took the dogs out. While he was out, the phone rang. It was almost 10:00 p.m., so I figured it was important since most people know not to call me after 9:00 p.m. So, I got up and answered.

It was my mother. Their flight had been canceled and they were standing in line to see if they could get seats on a flight to Manchester that was boarding. She wanted to know if I/we could come get them in Manchester. Next thing I know, they're walking on the plane while I discuss this with CBD, and I'm like, "We don't really have a choice. They just boarded the plane."

I told my mom that I couldn't drive because I had already taken my meds. She felt badly, but they didn't really have any other options. So, Aaron and I headed up to Manchester to get them. We got back home at 2:30 a.m. Pumpkin woke up at 6:17 a.m., so I got less than four hours of sleep. And tonight I meet CBD's family. Hopefully I can squeeze in a nap, although, I feel ok right now.

The one good thing about picking them up was mom had my birthday present from my favorite cousin, who she'd seen over the weekend. Oh my goodness! I'll have to post pictures of me wearing them. She makes gorgeous jewelry, and she had made me two necklaces, three bracelets, and earrings. And one of the necklaces matches the outfit I bought to wear tonight, so YAY! New jewelry too!

Why look -- surprise you can be overweight and heart healthy --- or thin and not heart healthy. Surprise

Those who have met me might be greatly surprised that my total Cholesterol from last Friday is 118. My BP was 120/82.

You know, I'm really tired of this whole thin=healthy thing. And the "acceptable" level of thinness keeps going down. I'm fat. I've come to terms with that. But! the last time the doctor took my blood pressure, it was 110/78. My cholesterol level is excellent. I'm taking care of myself. My arteries are squeaky clean (I have pictures! I can prove it!) But I'm never going to be thin. Last time I came even close, I did so by consumine about 800 calories a day and exercising strenuously three to five times a week. Forget that. I'm going to be as healthy as I can manage.

ronically, my father - skinniest man alive (when he was alive) - died at the age of 57 of a stroke. He'd probably had a series of minor strokes before the last one. I'm 56 and I've had a stroke - walked away from it with almost no damage - and I learned my lesson and I'm taking care of myself. But thin!=healthy. snarl.

Those who have met me might be greatly surprised

I'm not, but then (for perhaps obvious reasons) I don't buy into the big lie of OMGFATKILLZ!!!!

t edit x-posty with Todd the wise.

And the "acceptable" level of thinness keeps going down.

You know what? I'm so over it. I would literally have to have a wasting disease to be a single-digit size. I'm healthy, I'm happy, my boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful and sexy, so I see no need to continue the self-loathing for not being a size 4.

Don't get me wrong; I still have body-image demons. But even they have changed. I've started referring to myself as fat, because, duh. I am fat. It's a descriptor. When someone refers to themselves as thin, or short, or tall, no one says, "Don't SAY that! *You're* not SHORT! You're just...not as tall as other people!"

But if you refer to yourself as fat in front of other people, the reaction is verbatim (it's like people with fat friends got a membership packet with a list of What To Say To Your Fat Friend): "Don't SAY that! You're not *fat*....you're just....[fill in the blank with some lame attempt to mitigate friend's fatness]."

No, seriously. I'm fat. And? Like Nora said yesterday, it's not a value judgment; it's a descriptor. I'm blonde, nearsighted, and fat.

("Don't SAY that! You're not nearsighted, you just don't see faraway things as well as other people....")

t /rant over; back to work

I have great BP and cholesterol levels. My doctors are concerned about my weight because of the diabetes that runs in my family (like MOST members of my dad's side of the family have diabetes). I'd rather not add diabetes to my list of health conditions, so I work on it. And I think it's working because I'm down a dress size, and my tops I wore last summer are huge on me.

{{{{Deena}}}} You are no wimp. I won't say how brave you are - cuz, ewww, how f*ing American Greetings - but none of the roles you take on, head on, in life are coward's work.

Wow. Barb, that's just maddening. Really, really maddening. I just. Wow. Also, can I ask, do you include any Spanglish or Spanish in your writing? My thesis buddy wrote her thesis on that, and I'd love to tell her about another writer. Also, could you e-mail me your full name. I really want to get one of your books to read.

Thanks, vw-- and to answer your question, yeah, I use Spanish, both full phrases and dropped in words (one of my favorite reviews ever came from a fifteen year old who complained that I hadn't included a dictionary of terms in the book-- guess reading within context was too taxing for the wee lamb). And the name I write under is Caridad Ferrer and the two books pubbed are Adiós to My Old Life (in which ironically, some idiot proofreader decided it was a good idea to change all my Spanish phrases without telling me about it) and It's Not About the Accent.

ION, this is probably a day I should spend away from blogs and such-- the stupid is enraging me and making me want to answer in Not Nice Ways.