I've found it to help me in thinking creatively to avoid the battles of wills in the first place (anticipate them, go another route).

I just put it on hold at the library.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

One thing I did discover this morning is that AB had no clue why me missing my bus was such a bad thing, because she knows I just get the later bus. She doesn't have much of a concept of work beyond "the places where Mommy and Daddy go during the day while I'm at school," so she doesn't get that we have bosses, responsibilities, expectations, and all that. So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

My mom always made everything multiple choice - so "time to put your shoes on" becomes "Do you want to wear your sandals or your sneakers?" (Actually, I use the same tactic on our clients. We never never ask "what format do you need your master on?" Always "Do you want Digibeta or Uncompressed Quicktime?")

I've also heard of making getting ready to go in the morning into a race (and the winner gets a sticker, or first choice of music in the car or whatever), though that one probably works better when you're dealing with multiple kids.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

She can be dirty and put the shoes on in the car.

So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

She will not understand, or care, ime.

I tend to go with the diverting, tricking, whatever method gets my desired end result. I'm over feeling I need to explain anything. Because 'I said so' is all they gotta know. Yes, I have become mean mom.

Hi all! Been crazed. Had bunches of family visiting. Wonderful wedding for my nephew over the weekend. Thinking about heading back to Florida this weekend. Don't wanna.

I've also heard of making getting ready to go in the morning into a race (and the winner gets a sticker, or first choice of music in the car or whatever), though that one probably works better when you're dealing with multiple kids.

You know, that might work, since usually DH is supervising her dressing while I'm finishing getting ready myself. I can get a bunch of stickers or fun stamps and give her one of them if she's downstairs with her shoes on by the time I'm ready.

So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

She will not understand, or care, ime.

I've always found that the "do it or you won't be able to [do whatever she enjoys that day] later." usually works.

As long as you stick to it if she fails to comply.

Em finally figured out that I meant what I said when I unplugged the TV in response to her recalcitrance and sat quietly reading my book all evening while she alternately cried and found other ways to amuse herself (e.g. playing with toys or coloring). She has been quick to comply with orders once the words "...or no T.V." are spoken.

Not a parent, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but what I've really gotten to work with my after care kids is to give them time limit warnings on things. So, for instance. It's time to put shoes on, but they're finishing reading a book: "Janie, in one minute you have to put the book down and put your shoes on." Thirty seconds later, "Janie, you have 30 seconds."

Speaking of after care, the new principal just called to see if I'd be interested in "teaching" again this fall. YAY! I didn't know if I'd get asked back since the principal left.

I've also heard of making getting ready to go in the morning into a race (and the winner gets a sticker, or first choice of music in the car or whatever), though that one probably works better when you're dealing with multiple kids.

Not sure whether this would be at all practical, but with one kid you could still have it be a race if you had a piece of music on your iPod? I used to give my kids a short piece of music and they knew that they had to tidy up the classroom by the end of the piece? (It was the Dastardly and Mutley tune "Stop the Pigeon", which led to much wild bouncing around and dancing whilst tidying. Um. And the kids gyrated a bit too. Um.) Anyway, I'd have thought that could work with one kid too, maybe?

She has been quick to comply with orders once the words "...or no T.V." are spoken.

Me, too.

School daze, school daze, dear old golden rule daze...

So, Dh's brother (the youngest of the four--12 years younger) has been going through a very messy divorce. VERY messy, like the wife taking money for their house payments and secretly keeping it so the place went into foreclosure. He is on the other side of the country from the rest of the family and has never been good about calling--doesn't have a cellphone so the only way to reach him was at the resaurant where he was head chef. We got him a cellphone last year, but he never answered it only checked messages sporadically.

Finally, a few weeks ago he called and asked for help getting out of there. One sister wired him $5,000, we got him a plane ticket and then...he disappeared. Stopped going to work, his cell message box was filled. After calling the police and tracking down old friends, it turns out that he is addicted to Oxycontin. We don't know how long this has been going on. We don't know how much he has told us is true. And we still don't know where he is.