I'd recommend Playful Parenting - I've found it to help me in thinking creatively to avoid the battles of wills in the first place (anticipate them, go another route). There are lots of books on Amazon about strong-willed or "spirited" (which is hippie-parent-speak for "pain in the ass") children, but I haven't read any.

nice rings

sending out the strong ma~~~

Much ~ma to all what's need it.

Pretty, pretty rings, sj.

Am dealing with stupid people. Ask me how easily the euphoria of a great week away can be wiped out. *sigh*

I've found it to help me in thinking creatively to avoid the battles of wills in the first place (anticipate them, go another route).

This is my modus operandi. See the conflicts ahead like big rocks in a fast moving river. Divert before you crash onto the rocks of strife.

The thing about a battle of wills with toddlers is: they have more energy and less discretion. Divert their attention and divert their mood.

I've also found it useful to have a lot of routines for transitions.

A friend recommended James Dobson's book on strong-willed children, but no way, no how am I going to take his advice on anything or buy anything that will enhance his royalty statement.

My parents swear that this book kept them sane while I was between the ages of two and five. They used to joke it was written about me. I wouldn't touch the damn thing with a ten foot pole unless the end that touched the book was burning.

Pretty rings, sj!

I've found it to help me in thinking creatively to avoid the battles of wills in the first place (anticipate them, go another route).

I just put it on hold at the library.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

One thing I did discover this morning is that AB had no clue why me missing my bus was such a bad thing, because she knows I just get the later bus. She doesn't have much of a concept of work beyond "the places where Mommy and Daddy go during the day while I'm at school," so she doesn't get that we have bosses, responsibilities, expectations, and all that. So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

My mom always made everything multiple choice - so "time to put your shoes on" becomes "Do you want to wear your sandals or your sneakers?" (Actually, I use the same tactic on our clients. We never never ask "what format do you need your master on?" Always "Do you want Digibeta or Uncompressed Quicktime?")

I've also heard of making getting ready to go in the morning into a race (and the winner gets a sticker, or first choice of music in the car or whatever), though that one probably works better when you're dealing with multiple kids.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

She can be dirty and put the shoes on in the car.

So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

She will not understand, or care, ime.

I tend to go with the diverting, tricking, whatever method gets my desired end result. I'm over feeling I need to explain anything. Because 'I said so' is all they gotta know. Yes, I have become mean mom.

Hi all! Been crazed. Had bunches of family visiting. Wonderful wedding for my nephew over the weekend. Thinking about heading back to Florida this weekend. Don't wanna.

I've also heard of making getting ready to go in the morning into a race (and the winner gets a sticker, or first choice of music in the car or whatever), though that one probably works better when you're dealing with multiple kids.

You know, that might work, since usually DH is supervising her dressing while I'm finishing getting ready myself. I can get a bunch of stickers or fun stamps and give her one of them if she's downstairs with her shoes on by the time I'm ready.

So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

She will not understand, or care, ime.

I've always found that the "do it or you won't be able to [do whatever she enjoys that day] later." usually works.

As long as you stick to it if she fails to comply.

Em finally figured out that I meant what I said when I unplugged the TV in response to her recalcitrance and sat quietly reading my book all evening while she alternately cried and found other ways to amuse herself (e.g. playing with toys or coloring). She has been quick to comply with orders once the words "...or no T.V." are spoken.