Much ~ma to your friend and her baby, Aimee.

I love the rings, sj!

Question for the parenting hivemind: Does anyone have any book recommendations and/or advice for dealing with a strong-willed child? Because I keep having battles of wills with a 4-year-old and losing, and I don't want this to turn into a pattern. OTOH, I love that Annabel is strong-willed and stubborn and think it bodes well for the kind of woman she'll become someday. I just don't like it when the outcome of her stubbornness is that I'm late to work because she turned putting on her shoes into a battle royal this morning!

A friend recommended James Dobson's book on strong-willed children, but no way, no how am I going to take his advice on anything or buy anything that will enhance his royalty statement.

hot in the ass

I love this phrase.

Me too. It really conveys how someone is excited/upset for no reason.

Also, I knew that my fellow grammar nazis would appreciate the worst written first line I've seen in a while:

Bruce E. Ivins, the government's leading suspect in the 2001 anthrax killings, borrowed from a bioweapons lab that fall freeze-drying equipment that allows scientists to quickly convert wet germ cultures into dry spores, according to sources briefed on the case.

I'd recommend Playful Parenting - I've found it to help me in thinking creatively to avoid the battles of wills in the first place (anticipate them, go another route). There are lots of books on Amazon about strong-willed or "spirited" (which is hippie-parent-speak for "pain in the ass") children, but I haven't read any.

nice rings

sending out the strong ma~~~

Much ~ma to all what's need it.

Pretty, pretty rings, sj.

Am dealing with stupid people. Ask me how easily the euphoria of a great week away can be wiped out. *sigh*

I've found it to help me in thinking creatively to avoid the battles of wills in the first place (anticipate them, go another route).

This is my modus operandi. See the conflicts ahead like big rocks in a fast moving river. Divert before you crash onto the rocks of strife.

The thing about a battle of wills with toddlers is: they have more energy and less discretion. Divert their attention and divert their mood.

I've also found it useful to have a lot of routines for transitions.

A friend recommended James Dobson's book on strong-willed children, but no way, no how am I going to take his advice on anything or buy anything that will enhance his royalty statement.

My parents swear that this book kept them sane while I was between the ages of two and five. They used to joke it was written about me. I wouldn't touch the damn thing with a ten foot pole unless the end that touched the book was burning.

Pretty rings, sj!

I've found it to help me in thinking creatively to avoid the battles of wills in the first place (anticipate them, go another route).

I just put it on hold at the library.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

One thing I did discover this morning is that AB had no clue why me missing my bus was such a bad thing, because she knows I just get the later bus. She doesn't have much of a concept of work beyond "the places where Mommy and Daddy go during the day while I'm at school," so she doesn't get that we have bosses, responsibilities, expectations, and all that. So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

My mom always made everything multiple choice - so "time to put your shoes on" becomes "Do you want to wear your sandals or your sneakers?" (Actually, I use the same tactic on our clients. We never never ask "what format do you need your master on?" Always "Do you want Digibeta or Uncompressed Quicktime?")

I've also heard of making getting ready to go in the morning into a race (and the winner gets a sticker, or first choice of music in the car or whatever), though that one probably works better when you're dealing with multiple kids.

How do you divert when the struggle is over getting a kid to do what she has to do anyway, like take a bath or put her shoes on so you can leave the house on time?

She can be dirty and put the shoes on in the car.

So I'm going to try to explain it to her at a level she can understand, and lay down specific consequences for behavior that makes us late.

She will not understand, or care, ime.

I tend to go with the diverting, tricking, whatever method gets my desired end result. I'm over feeling I need to explain anything. Because 'I said so' is all they gotta know. Yes, I have become mean mom.

Hi all! Been crazed. Had bunches of family visiting. Wonderful wedding for my nephew over the weekend. Thinking about heading back to Florida this weekend. Don't wanna.