And Jilli could teach them all manners. I am always threatening to send the boys to finishing school. They wouldn't complain if Jilli was teaching them proper behavior.

Well, they wouldn't complain until I thwacked them with the edge of a folded fan.

Can ita be security? She's be the coolest security ever, and we would have a hologram ita and a fainting couch in the speakeasy whenever she felt shitty. And a lab working on headache powders that work.

And the school cafeteria would always have creme brulee and fresh raspberries.

Can we have moving staircases? And a ghost. A slighty creepy but not really threatening one. And my classroom needs to be in a tower. That's non-negotiable. I just want 50K a year, a charge account to Powell's and the ability to wesr fishnets and 40's inspired dresses without admin sneering at my modest teacherly decolletage. Modest! Mostly.

And we can have tea at 4 every day. Withe sherry and scotch, and grade....eh, we won't grade. Wait! The grad assistants from a local uni can do all the boring grading! YES! Or maybe out hot vamp cabanaistas will be intellectuals! Mostly. We'd have to have a couple of showy badasses.

Well, I don't know about finding you a vampire, but I'm sure we could probably find you an emotionally-tortured and not-very-stable hot guy to hook up with

I'm actually...kinda down with that, right now. Hot, you said?

And I'm all for the thwacking. Can I thwack, too? Maybe just poke them occasionally with a parasol?

I am so working at this school. Man, and I thought I was spoiled at my current school.

Drew did you drop off IM on purpose? You disappeared awhile back.

Encouraging email from the VCOB re: our mom:

I just wanted to let you know that I've seen and talked with Mother regularly and she hasn't really changed much lately. If you do not count the weekends immediately after her treatments, her spirits seem slightly better than they did a few months back.

I spoke with Mark tonight, and he said she described to him last night exactly how she drove the car to Wilsonville - (very slowly). There's no doubt it wasn't her best decision but it doesn't necessarily mean she's totally delusional either.

Jane and I will talk with and visit her more frequently to be sure things aren't rapidly deteriorating, because I think you both know that Brenda can be overly dramatic and pessimistic.

I'm actually...kinda down with that, right now. Hot, you said?

If you would just COME TO SEATTLE like a reasonable person, I have at least one cute guy (who is not good at long-term relationships, but is a sweetheart) that I could set you up with.

And I'm all for the thwacking. Can I thwack, too? Maybe just poke them occasionally with a parasol?

That works too. Ooh! Or occasionally thumping with a croquet mallet. Could we have a croquet team?

Oh my, Buffista Academy. I sighed out loud at the prospect.

I've been an actual guidance counselor and promise to model my performance on Allyson Janney in 10 Things I Hate About You.

Now that's a job I'd be down for.

That does sound better, Susan. It is good to see that he is keeping you well informed.

I could teach political science. OOh and history of technology.

Actually a close friend just moved to Seattle! I'm sure I'll be coming out there in the next year once she gets a house and I, er, get a job.

She works as an accountant. She's the quirkiest, most non-linear person I know (counting Buffistas, so that's sayin' something) and she's...an incredibly competent account. Always boggles the hell out of people.

I was wondering if we'd have a government type teacher. Excellent.

We can have croquet on the fairytale English garden part of the lawn. It's south of the Zen garden, where fencing is taught on nice days. Yes, Zen and fencing. Works for me.

Just imagine how fun our Halloween carnival will be!