OK, I need to be talked down from a freak-out.

Yesterday I was going downstairs in my sandals, which don't have great treads. Somehow my foot didn't quite grip one stair, and I fell down the last 4-5 steps, none the worse for wear except for a bruised elbow and hip and being a little achy today.

So far, so random. But when I was coming downstairs just now, I somehow turned my ankle on the bottom step and crashed. I think what happened is I noticed one of Annabel's toys on the landing and was sort of already thinking about dodging/stepping over it. But I'm still freaking out that it all means something, even though I feel perfectly healthy and normal, because a healthy and normal 37-year-old shouldn't fall down stairs, especially not two days in a row. Please tell me that at worst this just means it's a good thing I'm getting new glasses within the week or something innocuous like that...

Oh, Susan...honey, I'm the biggest faller in Fallonia. I fall over flat space, barefoot, dead sober. I just..fall.

Stairs? You're FINE.

Erin, I know jackshit about resumes, unfortunately. How are you feeling, though?

Hey, Amy. Actually, I've felt pretty crappy for the last couple of days. I went to graduation, and then a post-grad staff get-together, and then a baby shower on Sat., and I wore heels and tights for the first time...and I spent the last two days in bed.

It sucked. And my stomach is still really sore, and I keep thinking I'm gonna lift a trash bag or something and it'll be 11 pounds not 10, and a giant hernia will pop out of my incision, screeching, and flailing its little insectoid legs like in Alien.

Besides that, kinda ok.

Oh, sweetie. Surgery takes a while to recover from, and you had a very bust couple of days. Sending you all kinds of job~ma, by the way. Any school would be lucky to have you! Now we just want to find an awesome school that pays well and treats you like a queen.

I keep thinking I'm gonna lift a trash bag or something and it'll be 11 pounds not 10, and a giant hernia will pop out of my incision, screeching, and flailing its little insectoid legs like in Alien.

Well ... let's hope that doesn't happen, yes?

I've decided to leave my typo in, even though I'm now tempted to change it to "busty".

I keep thinking I'm gonna lift a trash bag or something and it'll be 11 pounds not 10, and a giant hernia will pop out of my incision, screeching, and flailing its little insectoid legs like in Alien.

I'm sure I'd be exactly the same way.

I'm going to try not to worry about my sudden run of bad luck w/ stairs, though...

the Sesame Street porn in the last Yuletide was hilarious, I thought. Hifuckinglarious.

My Sweet Crazy Ex could do all the Muppet and Sesame Street voices and would tell me dirty muppet stories when I was blue. I would laugh until I was in pain.

Oh, sweetie. Surgery takes a while to recover from, and you had a very bust couple of days.

I know I need to be patient...it's just that I healed so quickly in the first week and and half, and I thought "This is CAKE" and then I've been at the same level of healing (which is the "Ouch, that motherfucker still HURTS" level) for the last 2 weeks and it's...frustrating.

Susan, I'll trade you the falling-down fear for the Alien-hernia fear. I'm good at falling!

Here's hoping the universe hears your job wish, Amy, cause I am hating this uncertainty.

If you fell down them yesterday, then your ankle/body is probably still in recovery mode from the minor strain, so tripping on them again is not a big deal at all. Also, you're probably weirdly hyperaware of the stairs now, and I find that always screws me up. (Like, when I still drove manual, if I didn't think about it, I never had problems with rollback on hills, but the MOMENT I thought about it, BOOM, problems and stalled cars. It's a thing.)

Also, you're probably weirdly hyperaware of the stairs now

Between this and Annabel rolling down them Saturday night, I totally am! Our stairs are out to get us!