Oh my GOD, Steph. That sounds incredibly douchebaggy of them. And not at ALL like a thing of you, but more like "We think that we can get away with asking you to do more for less pay, so we're going to do it" Which is not on you, but on them. They are ASSHOLES.

I think this is a massive case of "CYA as much as you possibly can and use those extra 8 hours a week to look for a new job". Sounds perfect to me! (The only inconvenient part being that now you have someone you love making it slightly less convenient for us to give you links to jobs in DC or San Fran or NYC!)

This sounds like their issue, not yours. Not that that helps much, but fwiw, I think it sounds like they are idiots who don't have a clue what you actually do.

All I wanted to say was, "I've only been back from vacation for 3 days! What did you think I'd have completed in that time?" But then, of course this meeting wasn't based on just the past 3 days; I'm sure it was a-brewin' while I was gone.

Tim said that, to a paranoid person, it might sound like they were positioning me to eventually push me out.

I said, "Not just to a paranoid person."

I don't think that Big!Boss and his daughter are trying to push me out -- they're weird, but that's something that they would never do; if they wanted to fire someone, they'd do it outright -- but I honestly wouldn't put it past Mean!sort-of boss. She's gotten nothing but meaner and nastier and more backstabby over the years.

Now. *Do* I slack off at work? Yes. And more than I should, some days. I'm too quick to turn to the Interbunny for entertainment when what I'm editing gets boring.

I'm not trying to pretend that I'm 100% wronged and they don't recognize my workaholic ways. I know I loaf, and sometimes it's too much.

But I still think that they have a MASSIVE perception problem. (Not to mention a MASSIVE die, bitch, die problem with mean!sort-of boss.)

Toke the cat is consoling me by lying full-length on my Buffy comic book. I think it makes her feel close to me without sitting ON me. (Although, as I was typing this, she rolled over and looked to see what I was doing. But apparently it wasn't interesting, because she rolled back over and resumed sleeping.)

What they all said, Steph. It really does sound like a personal issue with one or both of them, and has little to do with your performance. It's good that BB's daughter was willing to meet privately with you and seems disposed to your side. It's excellent that you've already gotten in progress a meeting with the two of them to skewer them to the table for exact and precise definitions of requirements and expectations they deem necessary for you to continue to breathe in their vicinity. Odds are they won't be able to produce them. Don't back down until you're satisfied with--and have in writing and signed--exact and precise definitions and requirements.

Meanwhile, you turtle and cry as seems appropriate and when you're ready to blow the remnants of tears out of your head and be in some company I'm sure there will be people available. Also meanwhile? When you're up to it, kiss that boy for me, with my thanks for a perfect answer.

I had one of those horrific "come to Jesus" type meetings where my level of work was called into question, and one of the managers said, "I want you to commit to 60% of your week will be spent on X," X being what I was supposed to do if I didn't have Y to do. I told her, "I will not commit to that, because no one can predict how much Y there will be to do, and I need to do Y first."

Manager said, "I don't know why that's so hard to do, just commit to 60%," and I said, "I will not commit to a firm number based on an unpredictable future."

Manager is getting pissed, and suddenly Big!Boss pops up with, "No, she's right, this is what the PointyHaired!Boss would do, try to get a committment on a future that can't be predicted." Manager deflated and slunk away.

God bless Dilbert and my occasional admiration of the PointyHaired!Boss doll on the Big!Boss' desk.

They're still douchebags.

Steph - that is evil, evil, evil. Benchmarks are certainly in order. at the very least. It sounds like really bizarre controlling behavior.

That said - zOMG... my bad at work turned out to be a lot of people's bad. controlling behavior ++. She has all the key words and you can stare at what she writes and it _looks_ fine, until you try to act on it - and then you realize it's just smoke and mirrors. But no one was talking about it. Which sounds a lot like mean!boss.

(((((Teppy))))) Damn, you really do work for asshats. I'm so sorry, and I'm glad you have the Boy there to say the right thing.

Oh, Teppy. That is such a WORLD of not right. And I'm boggled that they can even legally do that out of the blue, with no preliminary meetings or written-up benchmarks and expectations and, oh, you know, stuff that reasonable grown-up humans do (and I will not be at all surprised if some representative of the HR or legal subset of the hivemind pops up to say, "Ah, no, not legally, not so much").

What a pack of actively evil douchebags and passive spineless shitheels. What a fuck of a thing to do to a decade-plus-long employee heading into a holiday weekend.

And I think I love Tim even more for this than I did when he doodled faces on the eggs in your fridge, and possibly just about as much as when he stood up for you against the douchebag in charge of that ridiculous fetish community newsletter committee. He loves you and he has your back, always. Love him.

Ahhh, fuck fuck fuck. I hate them for all the stupid and petty and irritating things they've done over the past years, and for the shitty thing they did today, making you feel so demoralized and losery and sending you into such a tailspin. High time and more to start looking for something new (but no Craigslist links from me -- you've got a loving partner who's settled in and rooted in the community, a house, and a neighborhood you really feel at home in; I'd love to sling Bay Area listings at you, but it sort of feels like maybe you belong where you are; just in a different goddamn job).

Yeah, bosses are beyond douchebags. And you know what, when you get a new job and give your notice, you might have that notice drafted by a lawyer with a reminder about libel and slander laws. That should keep them careful about bad references, because employers are cautious about these things in any case.

Tep, they're not the bags, they're used Summer's Eve drippings.

MeanSOB appears to be attempting to undermine you. Please look up all employment law that you can. Understand that cutting back to 1-2 weeks of vacation for a couple years (usually, as I recall, people get more time the longer they're with a place) may well be a small price to pay for your sanity. Start sending out feelers for freelance gigs where you can WAH, maybe. I mean, heck, you know enough people on the Interpipes that SOMEONE'S gotta know something.

Steph, because I end up reading the board in great swaths - your office environment always sounds sort of fishy. Like they do as much as they can to sidle-up-to but maybe not cross (or sometimes do cross) the lines of legality and take liberties where they can when it suits them. At the very least, it's damn dysfunctional. Ask for clearly written benchmarks with firm dates for re-evaluation. It's good that the Boss' daughter is in your corner.

As far as negotiating salary/vacation, the one thing you need to remember is that any other company would be GLAD to have you. You're not incompetent, on the contrary you have valuable skills that other companies would be willing to pay for.

Your Boy is a wonderful human - he's a keeper, that one!