Did you know that if the coffee is good and freshly ground and brewed you don't need 17 sugars and half a cup of milk to drink it?? I hadn't the slightest.

And thus, my coffee making skillz are impugned.

Though, to be honest, I don't grind them and Maxwell House is not "good" in the same sense as Blue Mountain or something.

My sash: I Am Already Impatiently Waiting For You To Go Away Or Die And It Is Only By Dint Of A Herculean Effort Of Will That I Am Not Rolling My Eyes And Stabbing You In The Face.

While Ex-Boss is indeed an asshat and shady and immoral, he is within the law to not pay the vacation days.

Within the law, but still unbelievably douchey. And worthy of either the phone call Sparky mentioned or of a comment on his Craigslist post if it's still up.

That's the kind of thing I'd want to know right away about a new job, so I could either be aggressive about taking the leave I'd earned when I wanted, be damned to his weasely passive-aggressive attempts to talk me out of it--or else decide the job wasn't worth it, and not even apply.

I want to live in a world where giddy teenagers with no tact and little sense can gross me out regardless of their orientations, then develop what I would consider a sense of decorum.

Bwahaha! Oh, so much this.

I Am Already Impatiently Waiting For You To Go Away Or Die And It Is Only By Dint Of A Herculean Effort Of Will That I Am Not Rolling My Eyes And Stabbing You In The Face.

Damnit, MM stole my sash. Though mine would probably just read "Not Your Mom (Unless I Actually Am. Hi, Honey!)"

My sash: Catholic. Feminist. Progressive. Yellow-Dog Democrat (Progressive, But Realist). Wendell Berry and Frances Kissling Speak For Me; Bill Donohue Can STFU. Also, Got One Amazing Kid; Please Stop Jovially Saying "Better get started on the next one soon!"

JZ, you also need a button that says, "I stapled my pants."

People, bear in mind that I just know where to look stuff up, and can (generally) translate it from Medical to English.

I do know this, and greatly appreciate it.

I don't want a sash. I've learned again over the last few days that I'm not ready to display my patches yet. I still only share them once I know you're not going to throw them in my face -- or I throw it in your face when you say something completely stupid and uneducated.

Stapled to my sash.

I've been watching a metric assload of Friends and HIMYM lately, and am waffling between changing my tagline to "I've got a fishook in my eyebrow... and I LIKE IT." (Joey's acting advice for The Look Of Eeeevil) or "A drunken jackass called God and a box of pencils called DESTINY!" but, although they both speak to me, neither one is shouting. So, for the time being, I continue to have stapled my pants.

I was watching Friends the other night on TBS and was reminded that "my diamond shoes are too tight" is from there. I had completely forgotten that. Did it originate on Friends? I guess I could Google, but I haven't had coffee yet.

That's where I first heard it.

I still have the mad Friends love. Even the later seasons, Joey still made me laugh. "JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!!"

I wouldn't want to display my patches either. Well, maybe just one that says, "Don't assume you know anything about me."