Boy Problem:

Horribly, painfully, amazingly beautiful boy. WORKS WITH ME.

Charming, bright, tall, funny.

Totally enamoured with girl who lives far away (whom he visits)

And he wants to be my friend. You know, like people who click in that friend way and it's all friend?

I can't be friends with someone who I want to make out with, though I like him well enough in that regard.

I hate coming to work because it distracts me all day.

And it makes me feel horrendously ugly. Why do gay men and amazingly beautiful men always seem to want funny fat allyson to hang out with? It's friggin killing me.

That's my problem. Can't someone shut off this horrible feeling so I don't pine every three hours?

Why do gay men and amazingly beautiful men always seem to want funny fat allyson to hang out with? It's friggin killing me.

Lots of people want to hang out with you, Allyson. It's because you're electrically charged, because you're sweet and kind and bright and sharp and funny. That's a silly question to ask.

I have no idea why he's not hung up on you. I'm the last person to talk to in that regard. It's not like guys get hung up on me either. But even though you're having pangs of desire you mustn't let it make you feel ugly, because that's not what it's about. Completely not. Life just kinda sucks in that regard. Sometimes too often (c'mon--look at the love lives of some people you cherish dear to your heart--is it a value judgment that some of your closest friends are terminally single? Does it make us ugly too?).

Allyson, I think ita's right about disassociating your self-image from what this guy (or any other guy feels). I know it's not easy.

And I'm certainly no good source of advice (I am much relieved I am not single because I have no doubt I'd be in the same position. I had a guy I humiliated myself for years ago who, after I asked him directly, told me, "I've tried, I just can't love you that way.")

But you're funny and a good friend to have. Your validation should be internal. I wish I could shut off the inner demons that make you feel unattractive.

The question is, is it more distracting to pine over him, not being friends or is it better to be friends with him and hope the desire to make out goes away. I always opted for the latter, myself.

kick that voice to the curb, Allyson. If someone spoke about one of your friends that way, you'd be pissed.

Obviously, you are fun to be around. I know you are smart and funny. That's why people want to be around you.

As for the pretty boy, he can't see you because there is a girl in his eye. he may never see you. ( boys are not always smart) However, he won't ever see you if you don't see him.

ION, why do our shoes insist on living in the living room?

I have absolutely no desire to fire up ProTools and edit. Yet, that's what I need to do.

ita, I think our friends are terminally single because they sort of like it that way. I'm terminally single because I'm me. I wish I could just sort of crumble into dust, most days.

I'm terminally single because I believe I deserve to be single.

I'm terminally single because I'm me.

I'm terminally single because I believe I deserve to be single.

These are both incredibly wrongheaded and craxy.

Allyson, you and me should get liquored up and go to Vegas. Or,actually, to Cairo, where we would both find ourselves treated like sex goddesses the moment we stepped off the 'plane.

(Most days I do not wish I could crumble into dust, because most days I don't think about it. Denial - it's where I live. But presently there has indeed been a fair bit of that. So - yeah. I feel you, love.)

Tom, do you want to be single? Or are you resigned to it? (...or did you murder your last girlfriend? Is this some kind of karma for past misdeeds?) Because, you know, you're awesome. And sufficiently cute that I was far too shy to say more than 'hello' at the F2F.

...soshul skillz: Im doin em wrong.

I'm single because I'm too socially inept to talk to people.