smon - you and I can swoon all over him together in a couple of weeks.

YUH-HUM!

You for the royalness, me for the rugby.

But declaring interest isn't throwing, really. Just asking if the fellow wants to grab a drink sometime. Or saying "you want to walk me home?" or whatever. I have many excruciatingly embarassing memories of times I flung myself and nothing happened, but also many lovely memories of relationships which couldn't have happened without me making a move.

The guy I had a crush on in college and went to his room acted shocked and annoyed and ushered me out. This lead to many nights of bitter self-recrimination. This guy came to seek me out at the 10th reunion to say he always fancied me but thought the whole idea of a relationship was too scary and had always regretted what happened.

t daydreams

mmmmmmmm................

Well, I was going to praise Fay's haircut - basically it is heart-stoppingly lovely,but I can't out do Hec. so I will tell a story - a true story.

Once upon a time there was a woman named R. She was married o P, her high school sweetheart. Sadly, overtime they changed and grew apart until, P the person R had trusted with her heart , grew mean and spent the last years of their marriage beating her self confidence. Divorce happeend. R - found her place pretty quickly. r is quirky , unusual and not conventionally pretty . D was a friend. D is a skinny, quiet, shy guy. R is loud, lively, and curvaceous. R was not even sure D was straight ( no one was) , but she had developed a strong crush on him. On day she said " D, I don't know how this will make you feel, but I felt I had to tell you that I have a crush on you." R knew that there was a possibility that D only wanted her as a friend, and she was willing to accept that, but she couldn't be a friend and not tell him. For awhile, D didn't react - he felt that it was too close to R's divorce.. But eventually, D admitted that he felt the same about R. D had spent years protecting his heart , and is now very happy. R was brave, braver than she had ever been with her husband and She decided the possible rejection was worth the possible happiness. and she was right.

Moral: Ask him.

Fay, I know it's hard to fathom- how could this handsome, charming, witty, wonderful person EVER fancy ME?

t looks at wedding band

But trust me, it happens. It really does.

Tom had the British shy thing, I had the letting my weight define me thing, but somehow we got through that first agonizing moment of OMG I can't believe I did that! Shit. Shit! SHIT! and skipped along to bliss.

Haven't decided if I'm gonna plan on being on the pool table in absentia or not. Puking in the gutter is optional, as well.

My father, in one of his more "country" moments, said "thems as don't ask don't get".

Fay, GO FOR IT!

Fay, that haircut makes me wildly jealous. It kinda makes me wanna go out and get it, you look so fucking amazing.

You know, the wildest crush I ever, ever had never turned into anything, but it is one of my fondest memories. I was whack-job craxy for this guy -- I mean, sighing and pining and twitchy loins and everything -- and I followed him around all summer and finally, one night, on the porch, basically asked him to sleep with me. (Hey, I was 21.)

It never happened (and damn, it was a good thing it didn't) but I walked him halfway home that night and he kissed me under a streetlight (after he had kinda told me he couldn't sleep with me cause it was too late -- he had to get up and cut trees in the morning --seriously!!) I said goodnight, and turned to leave and he reached out and pulled me back and OMG kissed me!!!! and it was awesome, and later on (we were pretty decent friends) told me it was the most romantic, movie kiss he'd ever had.

Despite not getting the guy (good thing), despite tossing myself like a stunned deer in his lap, despite, despite, despite...it it one of my best memories, cause I just DID it and, looking back, it's one of the things that started me on the path from girl to woman.

So, put on some red lipstick, and in the middle of a conversation, cock your head, laugh and say "You know, I've always fancied you! Wanna go snog like mad weasels...or, you know, go out for drinks sometime?" ANd then do a half-smile, not sheepish, but like this is the most entertaining conversation ever...

Who knows what he'll say? But...I guarantee YOU will be the one in charge, and....he'll think about kissing you all night, even if he doesn't.