Fay, you are drop dead sex-ay. Bloke doesn't stand a chance.

Empress, there are also the last three here that went up recently you might like.

Humminah humminah humminah. I'll be in my bunk. And, one day, his. That boy is drop dead gorgeous, he is.

DJ, I knew someone in college who waited (naked) in the closet in a boy's room. She heard the door open and jumped out ... to discover it was someone else, borrowing his ... corkscrew, I think. She never quite recovered from that.

Poor thing! Was the corkscrew borrower male or female. I'm not sure what difference it makes, but it seems it would be easier if the borrower were female.

Alas, male.

Dear Fay's Bloke,

You, sir, are in a most enviable position.

You don't realize it yet, but you have the most joyous opportunity of your life within easy reach.

You have recently become acquainted with our good friend Fay. Within our community Fay is well known and we would like to speak to her virtues.

There are many shiny people in the world whose immediate appeal will pall over time. Fay is that rare exemplar whose charms deepen and intensify the longer you know her.

Her physical beauty is readily apparent, and it is somewhat redundant to enumerate what you can see. But for the sake of due diligence we feel it is important to point out the delectable rosebud kissability of her lips, the cunning sweep of her brow, the sweet cream of her complexion. Note also how majestic she is in profile. That is no generic barbie-doll nose, sir! That is a queenly nose - and not the ugly inbred kind, no, but the kind best featured on the book cover of an historical romance. A nose which is, frankly, somewhat too idealized to seem possible. And yet, there it is - right above the kissable mouth.

We will err on the side of discretion and make only passing mention of the sumptuous curves of her figure which have inspired innumerable sighs of pleasant reverie among her cohort.

It would be criminal though, not to discuss Fay's unerring and original sense of style. The beauty she was granted, but the style is her own genius. Again, generic platitudes are insufficent to evoke the color and playfulness of Fay's style. This is not mere fashion but a full considered look pulled together each and every day. Her very presence is a gift of design to every room she graces.

Now sir, you may feel this praise is overdone, overblown. Fulsome hyperbole. We're afraid you'll need to readjust your expectations because as hard as this is to credit - Fay's beauty is but a tiny portion of her charms.

Under that exquisite bob, behind those blue eyes which invite your fascinated stare, you will find a Grand Master of the 7 Comic Forms. She is redbelt tested to a tolerance of .09 nanometers for Quick Riposte, Comic Aside, Elaborate Conceit, Bawdy Retort, Dead Stop Comeback, Silly Digression, and Loopy Allusion. She is well-read, well-versed, and well and truly twisted in all the most delightful ways.

Within her comely form there beats a kind and tender heart. A heart that would wake to you with but a word.

The question then, is how such a woman could be within your grasp? The short answer is two-fold, and they both speak to her virtues.

First, Fay is an inveterate world traveler. She is half a world away from the people who best know her charms. That she is daring, able, strong and adventurous is all to her credit, though it has slowed her romantic prospects. Second, she has a reticent nature. This is a fetching quality, but may be misinterpreted, may be seen as her being unavailable.

It pains us to point these things out to you, because there is a tiny selfish portion of our collective mind which would prefer to keep her for ourselves. But she is so well loved that this is easily put aside.

We take it on Fay's word that you might possibly be worthy of her. Be careful, sir, not to squander the great good fortune so near at hand.

Signed,

The Buffistas

Hec wins.

Nicely done, Hecubus. You can do the eulogy at my Ray Cole wake(and bring the Pogues)

Are you going to be laid out on a pool table?

That's beautiful, Hec.

So today was our monthly staff meeting - it's held on the first Friday of the month. No one told me that you don't have to come back to the office after! I could have driven this morning and gone and run errands this afternoon until I had to pick up Joe. Instead, I'm alone in my office.

t signs hec's letter

Fay, love, the hair is gorgeous.

From a while back, I clicked on ita's aims-recommended link and nearly died. Shirtless royal rugger ftw.

Hi, it's Friday and I'm bored.