Fay, that haircut makes me wildly jealous. It kinda makes me wanna go out and get it, you look so fucking amazing.

You know, the wildest crush I ever, ever had never turned into anything, but it is one of my fondest memories. I was whack-job craxy for this guy -- I mean, sighing and pining and twitchy loins and everything -- and I followed him around all summer and finally, one night, on the porch, basically asked him to sleep with me. (Hey, I was 21.)

It never happened (and damn, it was a good thing it didn't) but I walked him halfway home that night and he kissed me under a streetlight (after he had kinda told me he couldn't sleep with me cause it was too late -- he had to get up and cut trees in the morning --seriously!!) I said goodnight, and turned to leave and he reached out and pulled me back and OMG kissed me!!!! and it was awesome, and later on (we were pretty decent friends) told me it was the most romantic, movie kiss he'd ever had.

Despite not getting the guy (good thing), despite tossing myself like a stunned deer in his lap, despite, despite, despite...it it one of my best memories, cause I just DID it and, looking back, it's one of the things that started me on the path from girl to woman.

So, put on some red lipstick, and in the middle of a conversation, cock your head, laugh and say "You know, I've always fancied you! Wanna go snog like mad weasels...or, you know, go out for drinks sometime?" ANd then do a half-smile, not sheepish, but like this is the most entertaining conversation ever...

Who knows what he'll say? But...I guarantee YOU will be the one in charge, and....he'll think about kissing you all night, even if he doesn't.

I tend to not say anything and just hope we start kissing eventually.

And, um, how's that working out for you? ;)

I say throw, lanch, catapault. The only thing keeping me from launching myself at IT guy right now is the whole "don't mess with coworkers" things which is irking me very very much as i haven't been this lust ridden in many many years and kinda thought it would never happend again. But yay for crushiness.

Really, what's the worst that can happen? The absolute worst? Not that bad, is it? And what's the best that can happen? OH yeah, pretty great! Pros outweigh cons. Snog im.

I tend to not say anything and just hope we start kissing eventually.

And, um, how's that working out for you? ;)

Not too successfully! Except for when there's kissing.

Right now, I can't even set up a meeting with my potential future wife. Which is not a huge deal because I am feeling absolutely zero spark over e-mail and have yet to gauge anything about her, but it's entirely possible I might dig her more in person. She had to cancel on our first meeting because she had to work late and was sick, but she's made no effort to reschedule and hasn't replied to e-mails or my voicemail in days. Maybe she found me uninteresting as well, even though I tried my best to actually insert some personality into my communication, boring as it was.

I like Erin's idea.

I would also sign off on Hec's letter.

Apparently my understated "Nice hair. Nice Fay" was wholly inadequate compared to the rest of the board.

Please upgrade to a more appreciating "Wowser!"

t tips hat

somehow I head a bit of a growl in the Nice Hair , but that could just me my brain

Well, that was the intent. it just looked a bit pale in retrospect.

Well, dude, you're from Lake Wobegon. From you, that was *serious* lustful panting. no worries, bunk.

tea and biscuits:

Stupid wind gust knocked down the trellis/ornamental ladder on the south side of the house, ripping down all of three years growth of grape vine and squashing the flowerbed.

I decided to tie it to the wall with some wire and an eye hook for now, and then I ran a wire from the eye hook across the driveway to a high tree branch.

I then strung the long strands of the grape vines along the wire.

I left a loop of wire and vine at the house end for when I can put it up a bit higher so we don't have to worry about trucks.

Then I trained another grape vine from the tree side to meet the one from the house side.

I always wanted an arch...

As I was putting everything away I noticed that the ladder had also broken one of our tomato plants right off at the base. Grrr.

Fay, what everyone else already said. You're gorgeous and stylish and spicy-brained, and the new haircut is stunning on you, and that boy is incredibly blessed to be the object of your crush. Go ahead. Ask him. Read Hec's letter over and over until you start, maybe, just a bit, to believe that at least a stray word here or there might be true, and ask him.

ION, arrrrrgh. While I was out running errands, the Big Giant Head called the NP at the desk next to mine just to chat, wondering how things were going with me and whether I was coming in on time. WHAT THE FUCK, BIG GIANT HEAD.

(Since she never actually comes down here to check in with us and I have no legitimate reason for direct contact with her, I've just been coming in on time, opening my email first thing, and bcc'ing her on the first thing I write so she has time-stamped proof of what time I'm in and working. Which is apparently not good enough for her.)