Paris Hilton's Guide to Understanding the Supernatural
Vampirism is the ultimate liquid diet. Werewolves follow Atkins more strictly than any human can, and get healthy exercise with their meals besides. That applies to Incubi and Succubi as well. Nobody is skinnier than a wraith. (Though, Nobody's diet is a secret that has never been revealed.) Mummies are examples of really successful gastric bypass.
It is not always about weight control though. Sometimes it is a matter of principle. Sasquatch is just watching his carbon footprint. Harpies live lightly on the earth. Zombies are simplifiers, master at stripping life down to bare essentials. Ghouls are the ultimate Freegans.
I wish I could help, Susan, but I'm such an emotionally needy human when I'm writing (well, when i'm not writing as well, but worse when I'm writing) that I think whatever advice I have, you'd have to do the opposite.
My littlest beta reader, Ashley age 6, loves Sam. Her dad read the first half of the first chapter to her on Thursday night before bed, and then asked questions:
What's the bat's name?
Sam!
How big was Sam?
No bigger than a marshmallow...
He said he'd finish it before school in the morning, and when he went to wake her up, she was already sitting up on her bed, holding the manuscript, trying to read it herself.
Best. Beta. Evar.
Awesome, Allyson. There should be more cover blurbs from readers like Ashley.
It sounds to me like you might be making it more complicated than it needs to be, but I don't know the scope of the book, plotwise.
It's pretty big and complex, and as an alternative history involves more worldbuilding than I'm used to. Also, though I'm trying to make it stand alone reasonably well, it
is
the first of a series, so I'm laying groundwork for future events.
That said, I may be overcompensating. Having finally admitted that I've under-edited in the past, I'm all fired up for a perfect orgy of rewrites. And this may be normal this close to the end of a rough draft, but right now I feel like the WIP is an utter disaster and that I'm a terrible writer who never should've attempted something so complex. My one hope is that I can rewrite it into something that does justice to the idea and the characters.
does somebody have pages of mine?
Because I could use the feedback.
Anyone up for a beta of about 1800 words? It's been such a shitty chapter to write, so much gloom. It worries me. From here on in, Sam's adventure buoys up in tone and tempo, and chapter three is hilarious. But i just can't seem to get past the owl's loss of her babies, I can't seem to grasp it in a way that isn't making me either cry or beat my head against the keyboard from the melodrama.
Send it Allyson. I'm always eager to take a look.
And you know, I may not have anything to offer except, "It reads fine, to me." But I'll be glad to take a look.
If you want, Allyson, I'll take a look. Profile email is fine.
Also, after some reading I've been doing, may I suggest getting a Buffista copyeditor? I am SO fed up with reading books that misuse words, use words to mean the exact opposite of what they mean, can't keep track of their characters' names. damn. (I mean, really - the book I began reading this weekend had a character change his name about three chapters in. And one I read when I was sick was referring to the "penile system" ... sigh.)
