It sounds to me like you might be making it more complicated than it needs to be, but I don't know the scope of the book, plotwise.

It's pretty big and complex, and as an alternative history involves more worldbuilding than I'm used to. Also, though I'm trying to make it stand alone reasonably well, it is the first of a series, so I'm laying groundwork for future events.

That said, I may be overcompensating. Having finally admitted that I've under-edited in the past, I'm all fired up for a perfect orgy of rewrites. And this may be normal this close to the end of a rough draft, but right now I feel like the WIP is an utter disaster and that I'm a terrible writer who never should've attempted something so complex. My one hope is that I can rewrite it into something that does justice to the idea and the characters.

does somebody have pages of mine? Because I could use the feedback.

Anyone up for a beta of about 1800 words? It's been such a shitty chapter to write, so much gloom. It worries me. From here on in, Sam's adventure buoys up in tone and tempo, and chapter three is hilarious. But i just can't seem to get past the owl's loss of her babies, I can't seem to grasp it in a way that isn't making me either cry or beat my head against the keyboard from the melodrama.

Send it Allyson. I'm always eager to take a look.

And you know, I may not have anything to offer except, "It reads fine, to me." But I'll be glad to take a look.

If you want, Allyson, I'll take a look. Profile email is fine.

Also, after some reading I've been doing, may I suggest getting a Buffista copyeditor? I am SO fed up with reading books that misuse words, use words to mean the exact opposite of what they mean, can't keep track of their characters' names. damn. (I mean, really - the book I began reading this weekend had a character change his name about three chapters in. And one I read when I was sick was referring to the "penile system" ... sigh.)

Allyson, I'd love to help beta whenever you need it. I already love Sam.

Todd, have you seen that Honda TV spot where the Mr. Opportunity cartoon character says "At savings that could be very *wink, wink* opportunistic." Opportunistic definition: "taking immediate advantage, often unethically, of any circumstance of possible benefit." That is the way I think of car dealers, but I didn't think they'd admit it in advertising.

There's also a Chevron ad in which they boast of drilling in "unchartered waters." Sigh.

It's not just in books, Toddson-- I read an AP article on Tom Daley yesterday and had to spit three times in response to not only the poor writing, but at the fact that the writer of the piece said something to the effect of "Daley, a Britain," as opposed to "Briton."

::headdesk::

The one misuse that makes me see red - using "descendent" to mean their grandparents, great-grandparents, etc. ... known to those of us who actually know English as "ancestors". snarl.

Yes! I hear that all the time. I don't understand the confusion.