My current thoughts for titles are "Rich in Spirit", "Land of the Dead" and "Deadlands".

No reaction? Maybe the idea is not as cool as I thought. I can use feedback and it does not have to be encouragement. Of all the ideas I've had for novels, this is the one I'm thinking of doing. But maybe it won't appeal to others as much as it appeals to me.

I think it sounds really cool. And you can explore things about what it is to be alive and to be, well, a human.

OK, working away. I think I'm going to end up using this style a lot. The intent is lush, on the edge of purple, but not over it. So does this work?

As Jill cycled down the street spectral carriages flashed above her. Clouds showed faintly through the ornate trimmings and fire-breathing horses as they pulled their loads to destinations across town or across the world. Mongols riding war elephants and Germans riding Panzers streaked overhead, traveling to carry out gruesome missions. Though it was only two in the afternoon, blue lights flickered in every building. All houses were haunted now.

Do I avoid purple? Is "gruesome missions" over the red-line, and into the purple?

don't worry, I won't ask paragraph by paragraph. But this is going to kind of be a model for a lot of scenes, so I want to make sure the style is fine-tuned.

I don't find that purple at all, just vivid and precise. It's evocative yet still clear.

My only objection to gruesome is it seems oddly judgemental. Dreadful, maybe? Not all German units were as, well, barbaric as the Mongols.

I'm pretty sure not all Mongols were as barbaric as the Mongols, just like not all Germans were as barbaric as the Germans. People are both shit and mundane like that. I figure they deserve standing up for as much as Germany, don't they?

Then it is misleading and unclear. Does this make the point clearer?

Mongols riding war elephants and Germans riding Panzers streaked overhead, enslaved dead traveling to carry out gruesome missions.

I think you can leave out "they despised." Enslaved carries the connotation of having no say in matters.

Cool, edited to reflect that. So it is now clear that is the *missions* that are gruesome and that those carrying it out have no choice? I used Panzers and elephants because the mixture gives an exotic impression. It could be Toussaint Louverture or someone as heroic as you care to mention. They would still be sent by on gruesome missions.

I like the Panzers and elephants--did the Mongols use war elephants? I thought they were all about the horses. Or is that part of the point?