Actually I agree with CP here. Susan, do you even need a pronoun at all?

Wilcox snorted. “Better you than me, sir.”

“Corporal, you must show respect for him as an officer.”

Although you lose the mild chiding, I think it's picked up in context.

I like Wolfram's idea there, Susan. Also, I feel as long as a name (or title, something to help us differentiate) is used every 3-4 statements, I'd be good with that. Just so I'm not left counting the paragraphs to try and figure out who said what.

I find myself counting the paragraphs fairly often, so you can never attribute quotes by name too much for me!

Well, it's not so much about this specific instance as the general principle of the thing. She thinks there's a Rule of Pronouns where any pronoun has to belong to the last person of that gender referred to by name; I think it doesn't matter as long as the context makes it clear who the pronoun refers to.

I'm so not grammar-rule guy, but I can see why that whole pronoun thing is a good rule of thumb. When I read, pronouns whose attribution are not completely obvious throw me out of the story.

Of course I think context and literary license trump any and all grammar rules.

Of course I think context and literary license trump any and all grammar rules.

Me too. I just hope my CP will eventually accept that I'm not going to follow the rule as rigidly as she'd like and lay off a bit, just like I've stopped adding commas to our fellow CP V's work and she's stopped taking them out of mine, and how when CP S told me she was using anachronistic terms for sex on purpose because she doesn't like the period-appropriate ones, I stopped throwing the OED at her over every "sex" and "make love."

You know, it's possible we get a little too nitpicky in my critique group at times... But I promise, we do talk a lot more about plot, character, story structure, and other such big picture stuff.

I think nit picky is impt too. I want to know what others think needs correction in my writing, even if I choose not to follow it. Sometimes those little nit picks can change the way I write in a wonderful way.

Yeah, I only mind the nitpicky when it's the same thing again and again and again. And even then, I do understand--after all, deep down, I still think that V's comma usage pattern leads to run-on sentences and that S could find a way to write sex sexily in Regency vocabulary.

So, um, not sure about the etiquette of asking for a beta, but I have a partial draft of a story I'm working on and I've hit well, not an impass, but a point at which I need to decide what to do next. As in, is this a short story? a novella? If someone is willing to read it, I'd be grateful.

I'd be happy to read it, Burrell. Profile address is good.