Cooling our Fevered Planet: Unconventional Solutions to the Climate Crisis

I like that one too!

I'm working on my query letter template and this is what I've got currently for the part about the book:

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Humanity exists on the brink, hiding in isolated cities protected by mystical barriers from demons and a savage race known as the Fari. A sense of foreboding permeates these isolated enclaves as the demons increase in number and strength.

Aimee Fallon, an impulsive and curious creator of magical gadgets, discovers a mysterious artifact that is the key to stopping a corrupting power reawakened after centuries of dormancy—the source of the demons. She sets out with a group led by her mentor to put it back to rest.

However, Aimee soon discovers her allies and enemies are not as simple as she first suspected. She finds herself abandoned and facing a new master of the ancient magic, the hostile lands of the wild, and a forbidden lover who suspects her of murdering his kin. Aimee doesn’t believe she has a heroic bone in her body, but fate isn’t consulting her.

THE DEAD MOUNTAIN is a 120,000-word tale blending fast-paced adventure, romance, and betrayal. It’s a story in the tradition of epic fantasy but with a female hero who relies more on her wits and determination than on swinging swords and slinging spells.

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Sound decent? I'm not sure if it's short enough though. It's about 190 words right now. On the plus side (for creative definitions of the word "plus") I have no credentials to talk about so I should have a little extra space when fitting everything on one page.

Gud - I'm trapped at home with sick people, in the snow, and my editorial pen got loose - I adjusted some phrasing and moved some adjectives around. See what you think/take it or leave it/ et. Word count needs to be what?

[one question - Where are we? "On [PLANET]," or "In [TIME]" might frame it]

Humanity exists on the brink, hunted by demons and a savage race known as the Fari. The survivors are barricaded in cities protected only by mystical barriers. A sense of foreboding permeates these enclaves as the demons increase in number and strength.

Aimee Fallon, a creator of magical gadgets, discovers a mysterious artifact that is the key to stopping the source of the demons - a corrupting power reawakened after centuries of dormancy. She sets out with a group led by her mentor to put it back to rest.

However, Aimee soon discovers that allies and enemies are simple terms for much more complex relationships than she first suspected. She finds herself alone, up against the new master of the ancient magic, the hostile lands of the wild, and a forbidden lover who suspects her of murdering his kin. The cause seems lost, especially because Aimee doesn’t believe she has a heroic bone in her body. But fate isn’t consulting her.

THE DEAD MOUNTAIN is a 120,000-word tale blending fast-paced adventure, romance, and betrayal. It’s a story in the tradition of epic fantasy, but with a female hero who relies more on her wits and determination than on swinging swords and slinging spells.

Thanks. It's a fantasy world, so I'm exactly sure how to frame it so I was trying to go with quickly describing the world's setup.

It's so tempting to start with, "In a world where..."

What she said, Gud. It's a bit tighter now.

Thanks all. And I hope the sick people get less sick, Sox. I like some of those tweaks.

Is it too many paragraphs? Or is it a case of nobody really cares as long as it's short?

As long as you can keep it to a page, it doesn't matter much, Gud.

What Amy said, Gud-- and I like Sox's fixes. It's definitely tight and gets across all the information you need.

Thanks. I'll be reworking it tonight.