Congrats all. I've been working in coalition on some environmental issues. And sometimes I get a bit irritated with the people I'm working with. (I'm sure they feel the same about me.) So I wrote this bit of nonsense to relieve my feelings. I'm sharing it because I think it really is kind of funny. I think Native Americans , and people who have spent enough time on this list to know some of the ways well-meaning white people annoy Native Americans will get a kick out of the opening.

Pippin Rainbow Purefeathers

Last night I interviewed Rainbow Pippin Purefeathers. He chose to be called that because the deep understanding of Native American spirituality he acquired from intensive study of the works of Carlos Castaneda led him to understand that this was his true name, reflecting his true warrior nature. Since Rainbow is a leading climate justice activist, I was glad of the chance to discuss his views.

I began the conversation by asking whether, as a Climate Justice activist, one of Rainbow's goals was to make sure that women, poor people, and people of color get their fair share of the jobs in constructing and running the new wind farms.

Rainbow replied: "Wind farms! Big centralized bat killing wind farms! I will do everything in my power to stop wind farms and the transmission lines they require! Wind farms are a false solution."

"I take it you are not thrilled about solar farms either then", I said.

"Water gulping, land devouring ugly metal monsters!" said Rainbow. " And they require transmission lines. Nothing that requires transmission lines is worth discussing. Solar farms are another false solution."

I paused and regrouped a moment." Ok, well I guess you are more of a decentralist', I said. "So you are in favor of feed-in tariffs, where utilities have to pay enough for electricity generated by solar cells or small windmills on rooftops to make it worthwhile for homeowners to install them?"

"Feed-in tariffs?" Rainbow shouted. "Feed-in tariffs utilities pay high electricity prices to people rich enough to put expensive solar panels, or pricey mini wind turbines on their roofs, and then raise the rates for poor people. Feed-in tariffs are…"

"… Let me guess" I said. "A false solution."

Rainbow nodded.

I tried again. "I suppose you support rooftop solar and wind if it is financed by fairer means, and subsidized for poor people."

Rainbow made a moue of distaste. "Whatever makes you suppose that?" he said. "Do you know how much toxic waste solar cell manufacture produces? Do you know how many people die for the rare metals in the electronics of wind turbines? Rooftop electricity is a false solution! You need to stop thinking about making energy. The solution is to use less."

" So you like new sustainable near-zero energy buildings", I asked, though for some reason I did not fill hopeful of a positive reply.

Rainbow began to shout again. "Why would I like those? Do you know how much energy and water and raw material it takes to make a new building? The greenest building is an already existing one" he said.

"So I guess you support insulating and sealing existing buildings. And upgrading windows. And installing efficient furnaces and appliances. And putting in compact fluorescent light bulbs." I said.

"Do you know how toxic most insulation is" Rainbow replied. "How much toxic mercury fluorescent bulbs contain? How much energy it takes to make new appliances? Why do you keep asking me about these false solutions? Why don't you do something real to help the environment?"

"All right, I will then" I said. So I shot him.

Of course, now his body is going to leach lead into the environment.

snerk

Funny piece, but I'm sorry about the frustration, Typo Boy.

Thanks. Laughing at it helps a lot. And after all, I'm involved voluntarily.

I'm in Chapter 13 of my cutting run and I'm down about 7500 words. Or roughly a quarter of the words so far. I feel like I should apologize to my beta readers for having them read such an excess of unnecessary text.

Hey, its a valid writing method. Produce a lot of words that include what you want to say and then pare them away the way a sculptor pares away clay until they say what you want to say well.

It's certainly going to be all the better for trying to pare down the word count as much as I can.

Apple has selected Lulu as a certified aggregator of content for the iBookstore