I got back my first two chapters (they will be merged to make chapter one, together they are 2400 words) from my new beta reader. She said she marked it up a lot, but it didn't seem like a lot to me. She said she didn't get a good handle on the characters though, so I might have to pour some more words into that chapter, it's awfully action-oriented so there probably just isn't enough interaction.

There are only three significant characters and two are strangers to the POV character so inner monologue can't provide much on the other two. I think I'll have to back up the start to better set the scene and let the main character have some thoughts, then add words to the interactions with the other two characters and expand the scenes with more detail.

I'm starting to think I will lose a lot of words in this revision, but probably gain words in the next.

I'm about 700 words from completion. My bat is in Australia (the land of the giants!), and will soon be on the plane home. The final chapter is complete, so it's just this part. And then off to beta!

I wish I could have taken the day off, but work is INSANE. We're trying to squeeze five days of work into three. FUN.

Good luck Allyson.

Go, Allyson!

Gud, I have a different opinion than your beta partner. I don't want a character fully revealed in the first chapter. Some mystery about characters and background, as well as the plot, is what pulls a reader onward, keeps him or her reading out of curiosity and speculation. Just my two cents.

And yes, I'm a bad beta and I apologize again for my tardiness.

Gud, I have a different opinion than your beta partner.

I have a lot of opinions to synthesize on chapter 1, once past chapters 1 and 2, not very many. I think I need a bit more detail from the consensus. But, yeah, I certainly see your point too. Decisions, decisions.

You're a great beta Bev, I really appreciate it. Aside from my wife, you're the only beta input I have past chapter 5. Also, I've already made some adjustments based on your input.

So, Agent of Awesomeness just emailed me that the Carmen manuscript is out on wide submission.

I'ma gonna throw up.

Good luck Barb!

I don't want a character fully revealed in the first chapter.

Well, I'm planning to just better define what's already there. In the case of the MC: she's an inventor of sorts, she's plucky but suffers from nerves, she's not all that great in a fight, she's motivated by duty, and she's a member of the Guard. One of the other characters needs a bit more definition, and the other comes across as sort of arrogant which is all I think he needs at that point.

I think you need at least the outlines of the major characters established quickly. Some details can wait to be filled in, but anything that will be immediately relevant in that story has be established early. Otherwise, if you wait to reveal that the character is allergic to, I don't know, peanuts, or gets outraged at shows on the CW further along in the story, it starts to feel like ass-pullery. Especially if you wait until it becomes directly relevant...

Well, you have a point. But you also don't want a flashing arrow over a character's head. "Aaaand bachelorette number one is a marine biologist who goes rock climbing on weekends. She has a shih tzuh and two cats, and loooooves gourmet cooking. She's looking for a partner who likes to shop for antiques to refinish and enjoys home remodeling!"